BDSM Thought Experiments

Never hurts to restate some of the purposes of this site. How often I read people exploring and living all varieties of kink, fetish, power exchange, D/s, S&M write of how disaffiliated they feel by the others who write online of their sexuality.

Not that I haven’t been there, done that myself. Some of you are so sexist that it really is off-putting. Others complain that we are too kinky or focused on fetish play. Over there is the group who gripes that we aren’t “real” or “serious” about it. That we don’t know the true meanings of dominance and submission. (The “we” here not necessarily referring to this site, but those of some of my friends.)

This isn’t Femdom Cultural Studies. Or the Sociology of Kink, the Ethnology of BDSM. It is just little (not that I am) old me writing about what passes through my mind. No more but no less. The only truth to be found here is about Richard and his love for Alexandra.

I offer neither prescription nor proscription. The only advice I can offer is: honor and honesty. Should you need to be taught some imaginary correct protocol you are reading the wrong man. My goal is to harmonize with my beloved across a spectrum of fancies and possibilities. Some we’ll try: individually they’ll work or fail. Others we’ll wonder could we, should we but stay away.

A few do set themselves up as philosophers of fetish. Should you feel you’ve found that here: my apologies.

This site is two things: confessions and thought experiments.

My confessions are autobiography. The thought experiments are just tentative ways of approaching a possible experience.

I make them visible because that gives me a better distance with which to evaluate them. And Alexandra can read them. Hopefully a few of you find parts with which to empathize. Maybe you feel less alone, perhaps you think more clearly yourself.

Were I to invoke historical forebears it would be:

Socrates’ injunction that the unexamined life isn’t worth living. Hume on the unverifiability of perception. And Neitzsche’s appreciation of the contingent nature of our sense of self.

None of which does you a damn bit of good. But some of you are so easily persuaded by second-rate intelligence. A touch of pomposity fools you.

You shouldn’t let the quacks of BDSM delude you. Everything you need to know is already within you. I write to winnow out what is inside me.

In the quiet of your own room everything you need to know about your needs and desires is already present.