24/7 D/s

» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations

In yesterday's entry I inadvertently wrote about lifestyle D/s in a way that implied 24/7 is equal to lifetime imprisonment. I hate generalizations even if they are only implicit.

Lifestyle D/s is as multifarious as any style of relationship.

Accidentally I painted a picture that didn't acknowledge that there are 24/7 relationships with plenty of affection.

The right of the dominant to inflict a spanking at anytime seems all it is for some. Many couples' life together is ordinary in most respects.

And the arrangements aren't fixed. Some are exploring deeper D/s experiences. Others live a life genuinely committed to servitude.

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Sometimes Bill Ward was simply nasty.

Now in reading Femdom forums, newsletters it does seem that many F/m relationships boil down to little more than orgasm control and having hubby do the housework. Often the Dommes seem humorless and focused only on maintaining what seems a fairly pedestrian form of power.

Again, this isn't to deny the nurturing, kind (but cruel), romantic Dominas.

But in reading on the web, certainly not the best of sources but often the only one available, the images many dominant women and submissive men present of their shared lives seems much less tender and affectionate than M/f relationships documented across many D/s weblogs.

That image was at the top of my mind when I wrote yesterday.

I'm not cut out for lifestyle slavery as I can envisage it. I want control over my time. It would be impossible to lose my ready access to culture and amusement.

Often though I'm deeply impressed by those who struggle to acquire true servility. Even envious.

The diversity of life, particularly erotic life, is one of the things that makes living tolerable.

Best wishes for you - whoever you are - and how you and your beloved have chosen to live.

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If I had a women who I thought was good looking and knew would be able to take care of my basic needs at all times I would devote my entire life to doing as she said and being her bitch. I am an open minded person so as implied I would let her do whatever she wanted to me and do whatever she told me to to her, I mean how could I stop her anyway if she were my provider and had me in bondage. This isnt really a lifestyle many people could follow but I really beleive it would suit me if I could find the right women to go about starting it with.

Sex is about our relationship; our relationship is not about sex. This is a big distinction.

I think there are many different ways Mistresses relate to their subordinates. My mistress doesn’t even like being called ‘Bitch’, ‘Mistress’ or other. We have more of an employee/employer relationship. Sexually, my duties include being available, mentally and physically, for her to ‘play’ with me at her leisure. I exist for her pleasure. She enjoys massages and coming home to a clean house. She makes the money, drives the car, and makes most of the big decisions. In some regards we enjoy a F/m version of a Hollywood nineteen-fifties M/f ‘vanilla’ relationship. Ladies— imagine coming home to a clean house and a gorgeous man in pajama bottoms eager to please.

I’m not sure what the big deal is. I’m happy and she’s happy. Any ‘abuse’ is consensual, although she likes to push the envelope to the point of complete turn-off. I think hearing me moan and scream makes her hot, but she would never share that knowledge with me. House chores and satisfying her every desire makes me hot. So what’s the harm in that?

Our 24/7 is as much a consensual division of labor as anything else. I think it’s called a happy marriage. As for why there are mostly ‘bitch’ style F/m on the net? Who wants to read about me getting a hard-on folding her clothes?

BTW- She gives me ‘time-off’ because it enriches her life, because when I’m happy she’s happy.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about 24/7 D/s. Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,


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BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
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