Are BDSM Relationships More Honest?

» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations

Someone identifying himself as “Paul” left this as a comment on an entry.

The words that follow are his, not mine.

Would be keen for any feedback from dom ladies re this opinion of mine. I have always believed that there is more honesty and trust to be found in a sub/dom relationship than the vanilla kind. By its very nature one is forced to strip oneself down psychologically. Reveal your weakness and desires to your mistress or master. This places a huge degree of trust in the dominant partner. What you are saying in essence is this. “This is me kneeling before me, completely revealed, yet gaining strength from this moment of weakness. I give myself to you completely secure in the knowledge that you will not abuse this trust.” perhaps love is too strong a word to use? But isn’t this as good a definition of love as any to be able to be weak before another and yet still gain strength and comfort by doing so?

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I have many of My clients, local and distance whom are married, and I know things about them their wives will never know.

Is it a more honest relasionship? Do they love Me more than their wives? Some maybe, but with Me they can be more open. I do not think it is BDSM per se, but when walls come down, minds open so do hearts.

We also live in a very judgemental society, I do believe IMO that people would get along better, if lives were not lived based upon lies and people actually lived for the now and not the later. Understand? ;-)

The average relationship, marriage is often based on sexual attraction, especially when young. An inadequate basis sharing a life. Often the people don’t really understand each other. Without that understanding genuine honesty isn’t possible.

People often come to BDSM and D/s after they’ve made many of the conventional mistakes. (Not that they don’t often make yet more mistakes.)

And I think that many participants realize you can’t engage in sadomasochism and an exchange of power without real honesty.

But I do know plenty of nice vanilla folks with wholly honest relationships.

I think a BDSM relationship has potential to transcend the standards of honesty associated with a vanilla relationship. It depends on the skill, experience, and strength of the Dom/me, and it must be reciprocated by the sub in the form of an equal amount of devotion. My relationship with my Domme has been more intense, deep, and boundary-shredding than anything else I’ve ever felt. This is, however, contingent on the fact that She is as wise and able as she is, and that I am committed to giving her complete devotion. The sub must give, but the giving cannot be done if the Dom/me will not recieve it or does not know what to do with it once recieved. Properly done, it is analogous to the completion of an electric circuit, or at least it feels that way, with all the energy flowing in and out of you like so much breath. Hope my perspective contributed something to you.

Lady Cat’s good little boy.

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BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
Are BDSM Relationships More Honest?
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