BDSM Foreplay

Traditional romantic foreplay is easy enough: a caress, a kiss. If your partner doesn’t feel the same stirrings you can gracefully stop.

Yesterday morning I felt a surge in masochistic desire. In my mind once again I was on my knees, bound and being lashed. Thankfully the spell receded after a couple of minutes. Being horny at work is a nuisance.

How I wondered would you foreplay in hopes of S&M or D/s?

We’ve both expressed the desire to do more practice sessions with the swatty, stingy toys. But almost never do. Not sure why. Everything is at hand and we have the time. I need to reaffirm my readiness without being a nag. (My fear of nagging is almost a vice: perhaps prevents what would be welcome.)

I can’t imagine indirectly inducing the impulse to physical cruelty.

This is truer with D/s.

She can’t put on dominance as she might a skirt I like. Not because she isn’t happy to oblige me. To take responsible control of another takes energy and clarity. And, banally enough, you have to be in the mood.

Though I don’t necessarily mean for it to be, licking and kissing her boots can leave her feeling dominant. Something about watching a man do that I guess.

The evil women of Jim. Did he do more than the few drawings I’ve seen?

It is impossible to imagine awakening in her the rare state where she takes my psyche by the scruff of the neck and shoves it face down in the mud. Aside from becomes unlocked within her I suspect ruthless dominance comes partly from how I’m responding the time. The depth of my surrender may be a wellspring for her corresponding feelings.

As we continue to explore cues may emerge. Not in the sense of stage directions. The invisible, unconscious signals you send to the other person.

You might be thinking why doesn’t he try crawling to her with a whip or collar in his mouth. An interesting but rude tactic. Imagine who embarrassed and uncomfortable we each might feel if the gesture were untimely.

Just idle speculations of the morning, I’m happy with the way things are between us right now.

My side of the exchange can have its own psychological impediments. Something to play with another time.