Dominance, Submission and Obscure Lusts

» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations

I was looking at a photograph of a woman only to find myself imagine her as dominant (no, this doesn’t happen often). Abstractly considered she was just a nice looking woman but without the attributes - certain kinds of eyes, upright posture - that ordinarily trigger this. Then I flashed back to another woman. Nothing about her to suggest dominance either. But I wanted to see dominance.

Overlaying them in my mind’s eye I realized they had the same general shape of breast. Odd: what was buried in their mammary geometry to spark this? It makes no more sense than deciding that 3.6 is sexier than 2.7.

I was a breast fed baby. But resist the idea that as an infant I was mapping my mother’s breasts. (Nor do I remember their shape.)

Earlier I’d been reading about the Great Foreskin Controversy. While I’d long known that gay men can care passionately as to whether a penis is circumcised or uncircumcised it was a shock to learn that women might likewise care about cut vs. uncut.

We all probably have sexual cues that we don’t consciously know. They aren’t physical attributes that we require from a dominant or submissive partner. But when seen a strong jolt hits our medulla oblongata. That little bit of tissue at the back of our brains that rules us.

So I can’t help but wonder what minor bodily qualities that when we see them in another suddenly makes the top want to seize control and the submissive person to offer surrender. Many we know. How many others lurk invisibly within?

I’d ask you to share what you know of this species of obscure lust you know of about yourself. But I’ve come to know you far too well. You would merely assure me of how rational, temperate and wholesome you are.

What a boring lot.

Discussion of this - currently with a bias toward foreskin as a topic - has continued on Fetish Lore: Body Parts.

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I do think circumsicion is fucked up, but that has nothing to do with sexual preferences, and everything to do with the fact that it’s mutilation. But that’s not really what you’re asking about.

You want to know about people’s obscure lusts.. Rationally, I don’t discriminate based on types - I am a pansexual switch after all. But tall, slender, geeky brunette boys in glasses invariably excite me.

The above comment was me.

And thank you for commenting on my blog. :)

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