Erotically Exciting Personas
» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
Once in an online conversation with someone I said something about “an erotically enticing persona.”
That was in a context that had nothing to do with D/s or S&M but it struck me how the idea fits well into BDSM.
I know there are people who say, claim, pretend that submission and dominance aren’t sexual. There are proponents of a flat earth and the wisdom of the Bush administration.
Isn’t a dominant or submissive person someone with a sexually thrilling personality - for the right partner of course?
Lashes aren’t ethics. Bondage isn’t politics. Kink - with all apologies to Foucault - isn’t philosophy. Fetishes are part of our internal erotic economy. Their fulfillment are one of the ways we find harmony within our hearts, minds and libidos.
I’ll admit - and hopefully Alexandra won’t object because she knows she is the center of my universe - that I’m happily aware of the erotic power of of the sensibilities of some of you.
You are the smart and funny teasetress.
You deal regularly in a kink that I could never tolerate. But do so with a kindness and wisdom that I can’t help but admire.
You are warm and womanly making a man kneel with happiness in pleasing you.
You are the smart and skilled sadist who with measured care smartly brings the most out of the men to whom you do awful things.
You … well my list is long enough.
None of you are part of my dreams. But I’m glad to see each of you as testimony of the variety that reality offers that quite defies the narrowness of fantasy. You are archetypes and individuals.
Comments
I’m glad we’re both secure enough in our relationship (and LDR’s are much harder to come to terms with than normal ones) to be able to admire other people.
And what the hoi polloi may think about kinky people is rubbish. Often dominant women are among the kindest people you’ll meet. I suspect that’s because they don’t need to push people around in their every-day life to get their ‘fix of power’. They know they are empowered and hence are unfettered by the petty games and one-up-manship of society.
Or something :)
And of course I’ll always admire the healthy submissive boys out there. How can the existence of all of them not make me smile?
Posted by: Alexandra | November 5, 2006 12:05 PM