Fake, Phony, Bogus Slaves

The usual scorn was heaped on internet fakes, web phones and people who are just “players.”

Have you ever noticed how many dominants bitch that they never hear from anyone other than bogus slaves? They’ve had many replies but none from anyone - sigh - “real.” Often they sound quite betrayed.

Perhaps there are no real people who match their narrow criteria. Only someone foolish would allow someone to render him or her alone and helpless. (Some of those fools have died.)

Sure, there have been M/s relationships where the slave did give up all freedom. Most I’d think were allowed preliminary negotiation and conversation. Very likely the dominant they met at a fetish party or munch group and was someone of known reputation. Not a stranger on an isolated farm.

The “real” vs. “phony” nonsense often irks me. Not that there aren’t plenty of web poseurs - including masters and mistresses.

People seem to invest the imaginary person they are looking for with ethical merit.

And to confuse an ideal with the possible. Maybe you’d like to have sex with some famous person. If you are sane you’ll accept that you can’t.

I’d like to make a couple of tentative guesses about these persons of possibly bogus submissiveness.

Partly it is an issue of definition.

You might imagine your ideal wife. You might want a woman who works fulltime and earns as much as you do. Or someone who after the kids are born will be happy to work only part-time the freed hours to the children. Or - I guess there are some left - want a wife who is happy to stay at home happy to be a mother and homemaker.

Whichever you want doesn’t render women with different lifestyle choices fake wives. Just not the right spouse for you.

Potential slaves and submissive persons may define the role differently than the dominant. Their definition isn’t necessarily wrong: but they are the wrong person for you. Not a crime.

Partly it is an issue of self-understanding.

We all have aspirations and goals when young. A boy may grow up wanting to become a racecar driver. When he gets a license he’ll first begin to learn how to handle a car. Not nearly enough skill to go zooming around a track. Once he starts driving he may discover that he doesn’t have the reflexes or the courage to become a professional racer. Though his love of automobiles may divert him into become a mechanic.

Similarly masochists and submissive people can’t really judge their needs and abilities when it is all just fantasy. They need someone to mentor them, not just make demands. And experience will teach them how their real desires and abilities don’t necessarily match the images they’ve cherished for years.

I had a few people curse me as a fake because of my own uncertainty. And my vision of what I offered didn’t match theirs.

Oh and by the way: if you want someone to trust you I suggest you do try to put more than vague generalities in your profile. And make the time to really communicate. We’ve all wasted time with people online.

Just hit Delete and move on.