Femdom* & Gallantry
» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
Bringing her shoes by Van Rod.
I went to various BDSM forums asking for suggestions of additions, deletions or modifications to the protocols Alexandra established. Response were sensible, surprising and diverting.
Don’t impose too much too quickly was a common admonition. Indeed were Alexandra try to impose too many additional tasks too quickly I’d only feel overwhelmed, used in the wrong way.
A number of folks found the protocols too demanding. Then they would share a list of behavior to which they’d contracted. To be bound to a bed and have to ask to be unlocked to go piss seems far more stringent than saying “this slave” instead of “I.”
One fellow was forced to obey the rule of being respectful to women. Would he do otherwise without a prohibition? Is it OK for him to be rude to men?
A largish subset of F/m agreements specify attentiveness and respect.
Things anyone should be offering a lover regardless of gender and affectional orientation.
Growing up in my Southern hometown I was infected with gallantry. As I entered my late teens I reshaped it to be devoid of sexism.
I often open doors for Alexandra. It has nothing to do with D/s. I like opening doors for her.
I try to anticipate and be mindful of her wishes, wants and needs. She’s my lover. I don’t need it stipulated by word written or spoken.
So you might say many Dommes are looking for a gallant if indentured man.
Alexandra and I aren’t a lifestyle couple. So there’s an empathetic gap when I read of the 24/7 folks lives. If making a man wear panties gives each pleasure I’m not going to suggest there’s anything wrong. But requiring someone to ask permission to do to the bathroom almost makes me feel I should be calling the Human Rights Watch. But I trust such men enjoy the restriction.
* The staff and management of Down On My Knees isn’t fond of the word Femdom. But we do sometimes employ it for impact.
Comments
I like the protocols I have established for you. They match your level of ability and willingness to serve in the sense that within the context of you, they are not too severe and yet not trivial either.
To be honest the guys who said they were too complicated I was quite shocked by. Maybe they didn’t realize that they were only to be in effect when you wore that certain collar. Or maybe they are just lazy :)
I’ve often spoken of my correlation between D/s and chivalry, something I’d like to get into further somewhere down the line.
Posted by: Alexandra | August 12, 2005 9:48 PM
Gallantry, and for that matter, chivalry; are words not often heard nowadays; seems to me the essence of such stances in us males lies in our capacity to hold back, to show restraint and a genuine attentiveness to the needs of the other. The most potent power, is that which is harnessed (and I don’t necessarily think that has to be via ball, chain and leather straps (tho’ why not if they’re to hand?) ~ my own prevailing desire is to be at my Lady’s beck and call, not forever, just regular periods of time, an evening here, an entire weekend there; to wait upon her, bathe her, dress her, varnish her nails, and tend to any other bodily needs she might request, whether with via the employment of my lips and tongue, or by getting down on my knees before her strapon ‘friend’; at other times, should she allow, such pleasure comes from paying her raptuous visual regard as she performs those tasks for herself. Rapture/capture… it’s all the same to me.
She’s been away now for six days, we meet up again in three; guess me stumbling my way in here was the result of missing her absence and reflecting upon the role of being a servant. Serendipity, you find me, every time!
Interesting how in the UK (where I’m from incidentally) unlike the rest of Europe, service occupations (e.g. waiters, etc) are seen as unworthy. Oedi is her servant, Jocasta is my mistress, but she prefers me to call her, ‘Madame’ and I do. Last night I slept in her panties, and awoke on her side of the bed…
Posted by: Oedi | September 5, 2006 10:33 AM