Lifestyle, Part of Life or ... ?

I’ve been puzzling over how to answer this one all afternoon. It’s sort of, kind of, important. At least to me. But we’re not really practicing anything in particular, nor are we even talking about anything sexual lately. Not that we’re avoiding anything (I hope), but because we’ve had a few straight weeks of family and work obligations that are burning us out.

Fun, but minor?

The Edge of Vanilla

When Alexandra and I first started talking it seemed to slip about a bit. And still does, mostly because we aren’t able to be together without interruption.

For us it is a very important but not (yet) pervasive form of fun.

You don’t leave any choice for “mixture of the above.”

With my pet, D/s is the basis of our relationship.

With my husband, BDSM is one thing we do together. Not very often, of late.

I feel very fortunate to have a husband who is comfortable letting me keep a toy on the side. He gets a little impatient with the pup sometimes, but has been known to contribute the occasional fiendish idea.

You’ll have to forgive me for forgetting about polyamorous possibilities.

And you rarely expect anyone to say a description matches them even when it does.

Are your husband and pet sometime in the same place? (If that isn’t being too nosey.)

For us, it’s a 24/7 lifestyle. I am always hers to command, and there are no scene markers that delineate when we go into and out of “play” mode.

As you may have guessed, at one point in my relationship with Mistress Laura, the dynamic was reversed.

I consider myself firmly submissive now, but know that I contain every aspect. This gives me an interesting perspective, and a sense of the… arbitrariness… of all roles and expectations.

Best regards, Thomas.

I think it is great to be able to have that kind of insight and perspective and in no way detracts from the reality of our D/s relationships.

(in response to your response)

My husband, my pet and I all participate in an amateur theater group. (That’s what I call it at work; the truth is we’re Rocky Horror idiots.) The interaction between the two of them is limited pretty much to preparations for the show, the show itself, and meeting afterwards at a 24 hour diner. Due to the action of the film, they do interact fairly closely during the show (my husband’s character actually seduces my pet’s character), and among my pet’s standing orders are to treat my husband, as indeed any member of my family, with the utmost respect.

I regret that my husband isn’t fonder of my pet; he and my last pet were friends, but we’d all known each other before there was any question of ownership. He did not like my previous lover either, although he was tolerant to the point that he accepted participating in a threesome to make me happy. (He has made it quite clear that he isn’t willing to do that with the current pet.)

I think it would be wonderful to keep a pet or a houseboy around the house, but don’t believe my husband would ever accept it. I regret this, but am deeply grateful for what I have. My husband is my darling and he can be a very kinky little bunny, but for him, getting down on his knees will never be more than something that he knows makes the wife happy. It doesn’t mean anything more to him.

This makes me feel so sexually unevolved. I might’ve spared myself many problems had polyamory had been a clearly presented option when I was younger.

Hmmm… for myself It’s between Important and pervasive to Basis of your relationships. At least love relationships.