On Acquiring Kinks
» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
A quick provisional note.
There are fetishes that seem to have been with us from birth. Meaning we acquired them when we were very young. I’m fairly sure my desire to be whipped began with a switching my daddy gave me for sassing a playground supervisor when I was eight.
Other D/s needs, e.g., feeling owned and compelled to obey I’m sure was a childish perception of my parents’ marriage.
The process of acquiring kinks that will always move us deeply probably extends into adolescence. High school humiliations that we find ourselves wanting to relive (albeit more colorfully).
Images glimpsed in mass media and popular culture. I’ve never forgotten scene of bondage and torture from a sword and sandal movie I probably saw about the same time as my switching.
Kinks absorbed from other kinky folks. As I discovered there were men and women who happily play at BDSM I wound up with a passel of these. True, they had their foundation in the early desire for pain, humiliation and bondage.
Wanting to please our partners we absorb theirs. Foot and boot worship must’ve been present in some level already. But it was Alexandra’s strong sexual connection with her feet that made retifism one of my most satisfying kinks.
The pleasure I get in being trampled (a bad name for being walked on) comes from her pleasure in it.
Still my love for her has never given me a taste for object crushing. I can’t imagine myself being the empty box being ground into the floor. Adaptability has its limits.
Probably training can instill some fetishes. Reward and punishment, a desire to please combining to teach you to enjoy an act hitherto foreign. Only if it dovetails into some predisposition?
Scanning back over my life I can see the birth of many kinks. How about you? Or are you sadomasochistic desires a delightful mystery?
Comments
I really wouldn’t expect anyone to ‘get’ object crushing, although I do think crushing fruit would be more easy to get than crushing a box or something.
But since our relastionship started I’ve actually grown less interested in ‘crush’ etc which I consider not a particularly bad thing :)
Posted by: Alexandra | August 27, 2005 5:49 PM
I do really agree with you about the source of fetishes being in childhood. My intro into DS was through knowing torture by curiousity and watching graphical violence of 80s Hollywood movies with a taste of Sci-Fi. I never forget the asphyxiation scene in a movies I don’t remember the name. And in my late teen years I was really interested in autoerotic asphyxiation. By the way, the idea of acquiring is quite right too. You like to please, you learn the way, the love leaves, the way remains… Thank you for the post…
Posted by: Cher, the Iranian Crossdresser | September 30, 2005 5:47 AM