Playing the Game
» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
The other day’s exploratory whippings reminded me that much earlier I’d frustrated Alexandra by not begging her to stop. I was also thinking of her and others’ feeling that you can’t punish masochists because being hit or ignored are what they want. That we might court punishment.
Those that hold the literal and figurative whip in D/s can’t always understand the experiences of those of us on the other side.
I could’ve begged for mercy, to be polite, as it were. But that wouldn’t be playing the game. I use the phrase in an old fashioned, mostly British sense, of playing honorably, not cheating or even bending the rules of a game.
It’d be cheating to beg if you haven’t been pushed to that extremity. True I might be said to also not wanting to cheat myself of an intensity I’ve yet felt. But if you can’t recognize that self-interest and personal honor coincide there’s a risk of falling into an abyss of emotional confusion.
My slavish side would never intentionally seek punishment. It wouldn’t be playing the game. The pleasure of obedience would die in defiance. Punishment is more than sensation play. You are being told you failed. Wrath while beautiful in recollection is simply overwhelming while experienced.
I can’t claim to speak for all people with a need for erotic surrender but it seems from reading online that some dominants get lost in circular reasoning. Masochism and submission have great depth and variety.
Anyway, this is what passed through my mind as I waited for a cab this morning.
Earlier: How Do You Punish a Masochist?
Comments
Thanks for the site,I am also a submissive not seeking a”Mom”.I am able to live out a full and happy vanilla life.However,I have offered all I am and have to a very beautiful,wise,and strongwilled woman.My joy is to serve and be usefull to her every desire and need.My Lady tells me I hug her with my life.I understand what you are saying about punishment.There is no problem with this,for My Lady is skilled in true unpleasent torments.For one thing there is no pain for I too am a Masacist.The thing you said about the initial failure is the most painful.The punishment is a gift to allow a chance to correct or pay for the failure.The beauty of this is a real way to restore our standing as D/s,or to remove what ever separates us.We play with pain,chastity,T&D,and other fetishes.These are gifts to be enjoyed,not used to leverage or control.From outside it may seem to be unfair and at times cruel,but as you know it is a dance,a game,a way to be tested.I have the chance to show my love when there is no reason.The beauty of this is our basic nature,the “game ” is the spice.No, I can’t pretend and she would probably know.She will break me someday and I will finally be completely naked before her.Then I will know if she loves what she sees.I know in my head,then I will know in my emotions and heart.She will do this herself and probably soon.On the most satisfying level we live a D/s cooking,cleaning,shopping,pampering and somewhat “normal” lifestyle.I live in her moods because she is so fasinating,and her smile is worth all I will ever endure.Thanks for the site.
Posted by: Dave | June 20, 2005 9:54 PM