S&M as a balm?

Richard - I can’t start to say how sorry I am, and I hope both you and Alexandra are able to take some time and recover from what I know from experience to be an amazingly traumatic event.

I’m sure I speak for everyone who frequents your journal in saying take your time and heal yourselves, we’ll be here when you get back.

Take Care, Jay

Luckily I have Alexandra to hold and cuddle with.

I lost the best friend of my childhood several years back. I learned from that how part of the recovery is letting time pass as the backbrain heals itself.

Thanks.

I agree. Take your time. And count your lucky stars that you have Alexandra to help you through this. You are a lucky man in very many ways. You’ll be back on your feet soon enough. There’s no need to hurry the process. All our best wishes and prayers go out to you both.

Dear Richard,

My sincere condolences with your loss. It must be a horrible experience. Was he suffering from an illness or was his death totally unexpected? In that case the blow must have hit you extra hard. I wish you all the strength you need.

appy

wow—the last time i dealt with death was when this lady who gave me chocolate chip cookies by the bucket had a heart attack at the mall parking lot.

i guess i don’t know what to say—it’s just something that i hope you recover from as quickly as possible. a death is a sad thing when it happens to someone you know, in your own home no less.

maybe it’s better if you see a comedy show? might lighten the mood a bit…

appy,

He suffered from many things, physically and mentally.

Sadly the latter included drug addiction.

He died of his third and final overdose.

Laura,

This is the second death of someone that I really cared for. The mourning will pass.

Mostly I just want to focus on having a good time with Alexandra.

Thanks.

I can understand how the BDSM would give the both of you relief during the grieving. It doesn’t seem in the least strange to me. After my father’s funeral, I remember coming home and feeling quite numb - and then desiring some pain, just as you described. Something my father once told me, (and possibly something he read and was retelling to me) I found comforting. He said that when a mighty tree quivers and quakes in the forest and then falls to the forest floor. At first there is quiet respectful mourning, but then rather quickly, the smaller trees reach out their branches thankful for the sunlight that had been shaded up till now. He told me this, so that I wouldn’t feel guilty when he died, as that is how it is suppose to be.

I wish timing had allowed us to give it a try. Though I fear I’d have needed something mighty potent - overhwhelming perhaps - to get me out of myself.

Thanks.

My condolences and best wishes, Richard.

I agree about some light punishment. My father died a couple of months ago and I was so wound up by it all and holding everything in. Some pain really helped me let go and allow others to be closer to me. I ended up bratting to get it though so I didnt enjoy it as I would have but no one wanted to say ‘hey your Dad died, can I beat you’ but I needed what I got :) and it did help.