Switches! Don't! Exist!
» BDSM, D/s, S&M: Speculations
A switch is someone who enjoys both sides of BDSM: sadist and masochist, dominant or submissive person. Some combination of top and bottom: The Goddess of Kink in her variegated generosity has created many variations.
But there are the humorless, pious BDSM folk. One must be all master / mistress or all slave / submissive person. Mixing the two is an unthinkable form of psychosexual miscegenation.
Armed with their undergraduate textbooks or pop psychology and sociology meta-analyses they are ready to let you know the truth.
Oh yuck!
This is the same narrow-minded black and white, binary social construction that causes fools to condemn bisexuals and mock Tran gendered persons.
If you are some species of switch have you ever been mocked, had your sexuality denied by some kinky prig who was under the illusion that he has been gifted with the master scheme that explains all human sexuality?
(To be honest I began this weeks ago and forgot about it. I’m not sure where I meant to go.)
Comments
A switch is a thin green branch, cut specifically for punishment. Labeling someone a “switch” shows little understanding of human conditions and no real comprehension of the D/s lifestyle. Stating “switches don’t exist” is either confrontational or ignorant.
Dominance and submission is not all or none. Every individual has different degrees of interest at different times and in different situations, like temperature changing on a thermometer. What is hot for you right now may be cold tomorrow, or next week, or with someone else.
Without a bottom there is no Top, bottoms make the best Tops.
The unique and complex needs and desires of a submissive are best understood and satisfied by a Dom or Domme with experience in humility.
Posted by: TK | August 21, 2007 8:15 PM
There are too many respectable tops who switch for this to ever be true. I think there’s often a trace of vicarious masochism within some sadistic acts. Imagining your ‘victim’s’ thrill is half the fun.
I think the unsettling thing for most people here is that they want to believe in these absolutes. You become Dominant and that’s it, you’re safe ;)
Posted by: Alexandra | August 22, 2007 9:17 AM
I am a switch. To my knowledge, I haven’t been mocked by anyone for it. But I would bet a lot of money that I get much much fewer emails at collarme than I would had I labeled myself as purely dominant.
Posted by: almost.. | August 22, 2007 10:26 PM
For me personally while I consider myself submissive, and am almost entirely involved in hertosexual relationships. I do have lesbian fantasies of being dominant towards a woman. That said, I guess if I was involved with both men & women right now I would say I am a switch.
Regardless, not only do labels stink, but they drive people to have this “I’m going to be the most dominant dom there is or the most submissive sub in the universe”
cool blog & I’m a triangle perv myself (never been to any local “scene” stuff)
Posted by: subnouveau | September 13, 2007 12:09 AM
I am a switch. I enjoy giving as well as receiving both bondage and punishment. I would suggest that if the RIGHT person came along a hard core dominant or submissive may enjoy a change of Role, even if only a temporary one. To say that switches do not exist is like saying no one can react to the current situation surrounding them. That is a recipe for social exclusion and missing a lot of pleasure.
Posted by: Steve | November 5, 2007 10:34 AM