Making Progress

On and off Alexandra and I have talked about acts that function as symbols or at least allow us to capture parts of D/s while otherwise outside of fetish-space.

This morning an old idea came back to me. When I come home she gives me a beating. When I got home from work today I presented the idea to her. She liked it.

When I come home I’m to bend over a tall bar stool, drop my pants and she’ll give me ten with the cane. Then I’ll kneel and kiss her footwear. Very simple but capturing our roles and sadist and masochist and dominant and submissive person.

I asked her to hit me more than ten times tonight so she could determine the right level of impact.

This seems a good formula for reviving my flagging appetite for pain. Certainly seemed so tonight.

Later I brought out four very hitty devices: thick plastic spoon, tawse, Cuban quirt and acrylic cane and asked her to really work my buttocks: to hurt me. She did. Some of it was rough but I was finally able to begin to really tap into my masochism. I feel like a missing part of me is coming back. I can finally make her - both of us - happy again.

Given our separations it hasn’t been easy coping with my diminished sexuality. But love, conversation, creativity are helping me (us) reacquire what was lost.