Serene Alienation

An unexpected but arresting formulation from a recent entry by Alexandra.

Back in my psychedelic popping youth there was lots of easy talk about altered consciousness. As we all found out pharmaceutical profundity is limited to the duration of the drug. But it made good play.

BDSM can be wonderfully playful. And for me one of the goals of playing is altered consciousness. Estrangement from normality: safer than many pills and healthier than liquor. Even - dare I claim this? - life enhancing.

Sometimes serene, others ecstatic, often in ways hard to put into words.

In S&M pain is made afresh. Stings that feel like a hot shower. Moments when you hurt but can’t say no. The awe of seeing your lover relish your suffering.

In D/s feeling the relief of humility. Offering your beloved a worship that you can’t feel for anything else in the world. The mad joy of a few words of praise. Those special times when your back brain seems directly wired to her wishes.

The surprise of being slapped in the face.

The eerie hunger that is fed when you are degraded.

The first times. The surprises.

Allowing yourself to be imprisoned, to know uncertainty, maybe even fear.

Often we tap in to the earliest, most elemental parts of ourselves that otherwise remain dormant, forgotten.

When it is over the happiness of having shared this.

And for days afterwards the sharpened pleasure in daily life.

Alexandra and I have so many such journeys to this barely known realm we share. Life is always better with such to look forward to.