Caged Penis: Moderation

» Chastity

Orgasm denial will make porous the wall between D/s and the rest of our life together. A separation we want to maintain.

There has been the mutual concern that it might do so too effectively. If it does we can stop.

Sure 24/7 submission sounds tasty and tempting. But:

For most of our time together I need to be just plain Richard, her rock, as she has so sweetly put it.

But I may need an outlet for the overflow of emotion.

I asked and she agreed that - having made sure that she’s in good spirits - that I can ask for permission to give each of her shoes a kiss. No expectation of further play. A way for me to express my feelings in a way that is pleasing and involves no stress for her. And maybe a small step in learning to beg for her attention.

I can’t guess at the overall effect: it would vary over time, situation, mood, weather and who knows what else.

Some men simply adjust. Given the adaptability of my sexuality I may be comfortable with enforced chastity. We can always extend the duration until it becomes mind-altering.

Given her feminine powers I’m sure she can tease interesting responses out of me.

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I have decided to be more pro-active in our relationship and I’m hoping that this will not only make me want to do D/s more but will also make these ‘symbolic’ acts more frequent and give me/us more ideas.

As I was explaining in chat it takes me a long time to get my roots fully down. I certainly want to help you express yourself as much as you can because that benefits the both of us.

You did wonderfully well. There was so much with which to cope.

Thankfully we seem to only grow in harmony/complementary desires.

I look deeply forward to symbolic and mild as well as the wild ways of pleasing you and in turn myself.

I have three separate thoughts about what you have written:

1) You are probably correct about the cage affecting the separation that you and Alexandra maintain between D/s and the rest of your lives. However, that should not change your being the rock on which Alexandra can rely. Sexual desire is powerful, but it does not change who you are. Your point about the energy being redirected is probably completely correct (with the modifier resulting solely from not knowing you.)

2) The biggest concern I would have about side effects is sleep — at least initially. There are two separate issues with it: a) increased desire causing interruptions, and b) night-time erections can get painful until your body retrains itself. A lot of how this will impact you, I suspect, but do not know, since I am just one guy, may be related both to age and to libido. If you have key deadlines coming up, you may want to work with her to either allow releases when necessary or have a key for your own use, with subsequent communication about whether you were correct or should received some sort of retribution for your decision. This is the approach I have used in the past.

3) As in most things, moderation matters. All sorts of fantasies are out there about multiple months and the like. Start small, allow periodic release, and increase. The results should be less disruptive to your normal life.

Good luck with this!

1) If we can’t keep that distinction reasonably clear we’ll have to stop. Resentment could easily stem from misread cues.I’ll be very mindful of this when we start.

2) Funny you should mention sleep. My voluntary abstinence has me so restless that I got up two hours early this morning. This will be manageable I think, may take a few days. Only experience will tell.

3) The peculiar nature of my sexuality makes it impossible for me to guess what duration to aim for. She’ll decide based on my feelings and response.


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