Orgasm Denial

This is very educational. I’m glad I stumbled upon your site via the googlegroups.

Educational I wouldn’t dare claim to be. I’m just exploring my feelings and responses to various D/s things. I suspect there are plenty of folks who’d find what I write very wrongheaded. (Not that I’m worried about that.)

But kind words are certainly always very welcome. Thank you.

Rofl. R u the reincarnation of dr Freud perhaps?

Maybe u should consider the possibility of hateful, and/or frigid women, selling themselves as dominas. Femdom is trendy these days u know.

Anyway, orgasm denial belongs to the realm of reward/punishment. I’m not into that, and leave it to the Pavlovians in bdsm.

Btw, why in Lilith’s name should a man be punished? That’s another thing which never ceased to baffle me. So tell me!

Assuming that the women who write about orgasm denial really do enjoy requiring it (and are actual women) I guess it is see as the ultimate form of controlling a male. It often seems to be linked to cuckolding. I’m too romantic to be able to understand that.

In looking at a site like Orgasm Denial that is mostly single men who crave chastity control - there’s even software they use to control their orgasms since they don’t have a Domina - I’ve come to suspect that for some odd reason they are trying to relive the frustrated sexual excitement when they were young and couldn’t find bed partners. Or that is my “Dr. Freud” guess.

My only interest in short-term chastity is seeing what sort of emotional state it would bring about. Would the pent up energy would lead to any sort of interesting sublimation?

It isn’t something Alexandra is really interested in and I’m perfectly content to never live through it.

Why should a man be punished? I’ve been trying to work up an entry capturing my feelings about punishment for over a week but the subject eludes me.

Don’t bother. There r no reasons for punishing a male/female within a d/s relationship. It’s a boring concept, and too close to disastrous vanilla child rearing practices, for taking seriously, when concentrating on having ecstatical moments with ur lady.

Cuckolding? Yerk!

I am curious about cuckolding: on the one hand, men are supposed to be very jealous if their woman is with another; on the other hand, the fantasy seems a turnon…I can not figure this odd cobo out. Any ideas on this?

Having your lover cheat on you is humiliating. Many cuckolding fantasies seem to the man watching while the woman has sex with another lover. The ultimate humiliation I guess.

I’m monogamous and romantic. It isn’t a fantasy I’ve ever had.

Chastity play is an extremly powerful activity within s D/s relationship. It can be much more efficient than any other punishment to control a submissive. The time is working for the Domme. Everything she basically have to do is to order… and wait. Undouptly the submissive will break in a time or another. There are many submissive males who require nothing else but being locked by their Domme. once locked they just loose any power and surrender.

Since we don’t practice 24/7 D/s enforced chastity is something we’d have to be careful with since we wouldn’t want it to disrupt our normal relationship.

Since I registered at your site I’m clearly interested in the experience. I’ve wondered how it might affect me: very probably evoke strong submissive feelings for sure. Though it might be very energizing.

If we do ever give it a try I don’t think it would be for longer than a week or two.

From reading online I’ve sometimes wondered if the men don’t have a stronger desire to be made chaste than the women do in denying them orgasms.

my wife and i practice orgasm denial on me - i get release about once per month, and the rest of the time i am locked in a cock cage ( CB3000 ). my wife still has an active sex life with masturbation and oral service from me, about twice per week. being caged has made me so much more attentive to her and focussed on her that it is hard to believe - she is the object of all my sexual thoughts ( and there are lots of those ), and my desire is to hold and caress her; i am also more considerate around the house; yes of course i want to orgasm ,and have a constant shiver of arousal, but the benefits so far have been great for us both.

The erotic power of orgasm denial I can appreciate.

But:

“i am also more considerate around the house”

A statement often made by people who practice controlled chastity. This is difficult for me to understand. Why would having an orgasm with your lover make you less considerate?

Hmmmmm I have practiced a bit of orgasm denial and volunteering chastity with a DOM I was waiting to meet….and it was such a thrill.

First to be wanting so much and be denied permission to masturbate….but secondarily he loved to have me bring myself to the edge of orgasm and withold…its such a statement of control on his part ….desire to please and willpower on mine.

It certainly does make the next orgasm very intense ;)

And for some people it’s just a power thing.

I took away my former pet’s right to decide when to sexually gratify himself when he came after being told not to. (This was due to a misunderstanding on his part; he was usually very good at avoiding sins of commissions. Omission was another story.)

I am sure sometimes he missed being able to come whenever he wanted. (I think he told me that was the thing he missed most about being a free man, when I asked once.) But he said it felt good knowing someone else controlled that.

I did not put him in a cage, although he offered once, after nature took its course without his intervention one night.

He didn’t get desperate the way many men seem to when deprived for some time; I’d make him beg for it sometimes, but that was more for me than for him. (He hated to beg.)

I can see the pleasure for both folks in the power relationship. Just don’t get the bit about being less attentive and caring if your orgasms are denied.

If Alexandra were to ever want to try this I don’t think I’d become one of those needy guys. Though I’ll confess wanting release so badly that you beg for it is kind of sexy.

At this time we are on what we call a journey.The last long journey was thirty days.This was with daily tornent and a strict code of silence about the subject unless initiated by Mistress.This drove me extra nuts.As a man,the thought of not orgasming for a long time was a fantasy.As it played out it was very difficult in the begining.The second week ended in an emotional orgy of pure worshiping,foot licking gratitude.The code of silence was even more difficult,for my need to worship and express my love was overpowering.The end of week three was very unfocused so Mistress withdrew for several days.My focus was a real problem and will not be tolerated because it hindered my ability to serve properly.After a full month the joy of release and dread of it ending were conflicting,but it was not up to me.Several months have past and we are on another journey.The second week is here and the torments are much more skilled.Mistress has created an absolutly unpredictable sense to this journey.Each time I reach a point I think she will allow release.I enter each session knowing I won’t be permited.Somehow,each time I know she is going to allow it,then she crushes my hopes,stops the session,askes for water,a massage,and starts a conversation about the news.The not knowing is the spice.My sexual activity is always controled by her,as it should.A slave should always remain wanting,to help him focus.I think we will be working on the fourth week focus problem,or maybe not.

Penis restriction, erection prevention is something that excites both of us and will probably be trying soon.

Enforced chastity does nothing for her.

I can see a use for it in our relationship if she were to find herself wanting to play more often. Having a device on my penis would have to make me more submissive at times which would probably put her in a more dominant mood. As might simply knowing that she’d removed my own control of a part of my own body.

Richard;the day that she finally took control of my sexual life was after years of offering and explaining.This gave us both time to understand it’s power.She was sure she would never feel comfortable in control of this personal part of me.She viewed it as another responsibility.There is a chance I could be in control of her with expectations or guilt trips.This was what I had to understand;a gift is a gift and there cannot be any strings.The first taste of control was all it took for her to love it.The testing was for us both.The test was that she would do as she pleased and I stayed silent.By silent I mean no hint of whining,or lack of focus.She loved the physical signs of my state,but she was the only one permitted to comment.It took several months for her and I to understand my words were true.The focus on no expectations gave her freedom.The unpredictability was powerful,the control intimate,the desire for only her touch was an unexpected sideffect.In fact she sometimes orders me to touch myself as punishment.She enjoys my body as hers to explore,experiment,or ignore.Every orgasm is an event to be enjoyed by us both.I know now that I have never enjoyed any of my orgasms as much as she enjoys them.If I am ordered to go solo during weeklong separations,the orgasms are empty and I can’t believe I would rather not have them at all.I am amazed at the power of this simple control.It is not often we go on a tease and denial journey.Not knowing if I can orgasm until I ask is a thing I love.I don’t know if I will be denied during vanilla sex or even when Mistress wants to feel my rope bondage skills.I must ask and I never ever know.She took this control for one full year.At one year she asked if I wanted to yield full control to her for the rest of my life.I said yes and made a formal pledge to her. I think Alexandrea may turn into your perfect fantasy or or your worst nightmare.

Dave, I think my several replies on this thread sum up all I can say about F/m orgasm control.

It has a special value for you that it doesn’t for me.

As I said about Alexandra: Enforced chastity does nothing for her. So I’m not sure of your meaning when you say that she may turn into your perfect fantasy or or your worst nightmare.

Thanks for all your comments, especially on the older entries. There are many I’ve wished people would’ve commented on.

Richard,there is no way to know what another person will do or be in the future.Trust is not knowing that we will get what we want,only that they will keep their word.What we pledge or promise to each other is all we know.I have chosen to pledge total surrender and my focus is on that completely.Her promise is to take total control,I don’t know any of the details.We know the charactor or the other, the needs,likes,and wants.We like the traits in each other like being dominant or submissive.She needs to have control,order,plans,security,options,and an escape plan.She lives in a fairly rigid world.I don’t need or want control,order,plans,options,or escape plans and security means something totally different to me.My world is undisciplined caos,this does’t always work well.I now keep promises because she expects that I do,I like that change in me.She has learned to PLAY, she is beautiful and alive when she does.What I meant by “perfect fantasy or worst nightmare” is you don’t know.To my suprize I thrive in HER world.I must bend my will,live out of my comfort zone,I keep my word,think about someone other then my sorry butt.She is in total control so she feels safe and can relax.She is convinced I want and prefer this dynamic.She now is in a sense alone to play.She will not be judged by me nor will I put expectations on her.This is where the nightmare comes in,she won’t damage me,but she will take me to that edge.She understands me and helps me bend my will alot.She gives me many chances to prove my promises.My life is very busy and stress filled,and five years ago I would have run away.To my shock I thrive and would not want anything else.I live in her moods,her passions,her everyday disciplined sheduled ways.I learn so much about her this way and serve and anticipate her needs.That is what it is about to me.

Thanks for the clarification.

In our relationship my role is as much to provide stability as much if not more than anything else. D/s is only one small component.

I’ve always been a giving, compassionate lover. Her great insight was how my very romantic nature could also fit into D/s.

My own life is very stable and one of the things she gives me is passion and fire.

Hope the best for the two of you.

Richard: I do go on,I thank you for your patients.Every relationship is different,I guess I am just happy.I found how refreshing your blog was,I had to throw in my two(hundred)cents.Thanks again,Dave

That my corny, old-fashioned romantic and masochistic selves would find expression in a single relationship was something I never anticipated. At times it is as if Alexandra and I were designed to be together.

No need to apologize for your comments. I invited comments and am glad to have yours.

And update on this journey.There is no way to discribe this unless you have experienced tease and denial play.This is almost three weeks and Mistress has come up with some new ideas.She does not read sites,or books to come up with ways to do things.This is the great thing about her because she does everything in an unpredictable way.One day is very intense with much bondage,pain,and dozens and dozens of spin offs.The next day or two nothing but that silent unspoken play with no touching or word about our journey.This required silence is her idea and it adds so much to the insanity.Today her tact was to set the mood by some wide open bondage with all of the clues that I will be driven to the edge.When I trusted the clues I am was in trouble.The next hours were a SLOW FIRM METHODICAL RYTHUM.Her precision was almost psychic because of the place she refused to let me go.That was the torture because I was not ever close.Usually I hold back by breathing and relaxing to keep from orgasm because of her orders.Not being close changed everything.She has studied my body to learn it’s secrets.I first enjoyed things until I understood things were different.I soon tried to resist becoming caught up in her trap,which is usually not permitted.However,she let me try as hard as I could because it was all part of her trap.I couldn’t hold back for long without straining for more sensation.She kept the level of sensation far below what I needed.The only familiar play were those small tooth filled hair clips on my balls.I am a frustrated mess right now and Mistress is smiling after her wonderful orgasm.Who knows what will happen next.

just thinking out loud as i type…i like the denial and tease as it keeps me on edge sexually, certainly, and makes me want to gratify my partner for as long as she wants. the longer i go without, yet am teased with the hopes that i MIGHT be able to get off, the better it sems to get, up until about day 9 or 10, or about 200 or so trips to the edge of orgasm wthout release. then there seems to be a diminshing return principle in effect. the kicker is that when i am allowed to go, it is either with the xpress rule that i must do it in whatever way she wishes (and she is creative—so that’s fun!), and sometimes mutliple times. then it’s right back to the teasing and denial. there are so many variatns and possibilites, and we (she) likes to explore what makes me tick in these terms, what makes me want to please her the most, and most often.

I guess what i am trying to say is

the main question of how having an orgasm changes submissive desires… have you never experienced that? it isn’t just submissive desires that it changes, so I just find this querry really surprising.

1 when a guy has an orgasm, his body changes, a series of chemical reactions in the body happens in a few instants, much like taking a drug. this effects sexual desire, the obsessions that roll around in your mind, alot of things. so if you are serving someone full time, or very frequently, and your in a mode, say maid, or whatever, and through lack of orgasm you are just getting hornier and hornier, maybe through tease and denial, but also just through the act of submission. perhaps you’ve gotten so hot that you have promised to eat your own cum. then you cum. how do you feel about eating your cum now?

2 the male orgasm is a powerful tool, denial doesn’t need to be negation, or cuckolding or all the other hott net fantasy stories. you can use it to mentally focus, and many other things. being really sexually active and not needing to cum everytime you have sex can be an amazing experience, going for 3 or 4 days with lots of sexual activity, multiple female orgasms (it does something totally different to their bodies, they are not the same thing at all), no male orgasms for 3 or 4 days, and then, a focused release… try it. explore the male orgasm.

I’m not one of your more phallocentric guys, so I don’t see my penis subordinating other parts of my life. Don’t get me wrong. I like mine and what it can do.

When I wrote this old note I was mostly struck by the repeated assertion that men couldn’t really be submissive without enforced chastity.

Conversations here and around the web have deepened my understanding of what orgasm desire contributes to many men’s lives.

I’ve returned to the topic in subsequent articles and tend to view this one as almost obsolete except as it is notch in the development of my insight into D/s.

housepet, thank you very much for sharing.

I have worn a device just over 29 months. My Mrs gave a choice wear one of her choice or be divorced. I had never heard of such a device. Evidently she had researched it. Mrs now controls me and I am the housekeeper, cook & laundry guy. She will use any excuse to add days to my confinement period. She has many ways for me to shorten my days. I will not elaborate. I have learned where she got the idea for my enforced chasity & the lifestyle we now lead.

I just want to share my current experience.

I and my girlfriend are not really new at that, but while initially she was just curious (and I was too), now she started to enjoy her role, and she became very nasty in teasing me.

We’ve started few months ago, as a joke once she told me that she was going to touch me, but without going till the end. It was fun.

Then came across a website about T&D, and got excited at the idea.

I didn’t know how to tell her, so once when we were making love I asked her what she would think if I didn’t cum at the end, whether this could excite her.

She was surprisingly turned on by that, and we did it…..but after half an hour she touched me again and I blew my semen.

She was a little disappointed, as the same thing happened again (twice), as, even though I was excited at the idea, at the end I wasn’t able to hold it.

Then, once I decided to hold it at whatever cost, and I did it. She was delighted, excited, wild. It was only for one day, the second day I ejaculated, but we both were damn turned on.

What I didn’t realize was that what was for me the goal (resisting till the next day) was for her just the starting point!! [b]

She then asked me (initially very softly) to try and resist more, and I also was terribly excited, so we went on for 3 days. So painful for me, and yet so exciting.

After that we left it for more than one month (and had regular sex), but then she asked me again to hold my orgasm for her (she insists that I have to do it for her). I did it for 6 days. My oh my, I was desperate, she was wild.

That happened twice.

Again a period of regular sex, and now again she came back to the point, but with more strenght, more authority, she started to tease me for longer time everyday (TODAY WE’RE AT DAY 6), she said she wants to gently torture me by denying me any form of orgasm, while she likes me to keep on taking pleasure from her teasing.

She’s extremely (really extremely!!!) excited by:

1) the idea of controlling my orgasms, allowing and denying them at her will 2) the fact that I feel this sensation of fullness in my prostate (that drives her wild, she likes also to touch and stimulate me there) 3) the pain I feel in my tests after her terrible teasing sessions (she then touches me there to make me feel a little more pain) 4) the fact that when she allows me a release, the first ejaculation is kinda painful for me -she says this is the extra bonus

She also added few extra rules, for situations A and B, and that worries me a little:

A- When we’re in a T&D period:

1) Of course I can’t reach the orgasm, but I have to let her take me to the very edge, she says she wants my sperm to go up into the shaft and then come back. I am responsible of stopping her at the very last second. 2) I cannot fuck her of even touch her pussy unless she gives me the permission to do so. (Today I was allowed to fuck her and she came like crazy) 3) I cannot ask her to touch me, she wants to decide when and how to do it (but she does it all day long!!) 4) she decides how many days I have to resist, she can change her decision at any time (even increasing) and I cannot question. She insisted the time frame will not be fixed, I will not know exactely how many days, she might tell me 5, and then change her mind for 8 or 10 or whatever. 5) She calls this T&D my punishment, even though she is sweet with me during this period 6) When she finally allows me a release, I have to orgasm twice for her pleasure

B- When we are in a regular-sex period:

1) I can do whatever I want, fuck her, cum whenever/wherever I want 2) She can decide to start a T&D period whenever she feels to, so she basically wants to take full control of my orgasms (she told me that is her target), dciding when I can have and when I cannot.

She exposed me those rules two hours ago, and now I’m looking back at our whole history and I’m surprised since while I was the one who introduced her to this game, now she got really into it.

She asked me to let her know whether I want to stick to these rules, and I told her I definitively will, I told her that from now on she will have full power on my orgasms, I’ll leave them to her. I promised her I will never orgasm again without her permission.

She also told me she will not set crazy time frames (e.g. 6 months), but she will set reasonable limits, which I will be able to achieve.

Today she was talkin about one month T&D period, but with one weekly release (actually cumming twice the same day, according to her rules).

What is fantastic is that she is so sweet, she always talks to me sweetly, and when she teases me she wants me to feel the maximum pleasure, she does all the tricks I like.

She says orgasm control is a love gift she gives me.

I love her so much.

Limiting and manipulating male sexuality is something many women come to enjoy. Far more so than I’d have guessed a couple of years ago.

Some men seem to strive for increasingly longer periods of orgasm denial. I suspect they like the challenge. And some women take it as a form of homage.

Sounds like you have a very loving partner and that the two of you are having lots of fun.

My wife and I tried Chastity play, at first,as a sort of foreplay for our romantic Saturday nights; we had already tried about everything else to keep the romance alive. We’d read about chastity, and gave it a try. We both thought it might be a fun diversion.

I tried on our newly purchased CB-3000. Once I became comfortable with it on, she locked me into it, to be worn all week, and she would unlock me for love making, in bed, on Saturday nights. It really intensified the passions brought to the bedroom.

For me, it was almost continuous excitement, like wearing an aphrodesiac. An itch that only she could scratch. I felt towards her like a romantic school boy counting the moments for our next date. She knew it had that effect, and she liked it. She loved the feeling of impowerment. To her,it was like casting a magic feminine spell over her lover, only hers to break, and letting the Natural Forces of Mother Nature work on whetting the growing appetites of a captive male libido; all with little or no effort on her part. The click of a tiny padlock. That’s all.

Saturdays became different. She know I’d be in a fever by then. She wanted us to go out with friends to dinner in the early evening while I was still wearing ‘it’. Dress up, and go to the theatre Wearing ‘it’, Stop over to her parents house while I’m locked up in what she now, between us, called her ‘Jewel Box”.

Nobody but the two of us knew what was going on, although others sensed that something different was going on between us, because we we were both being much nicer, more playful, and agreeable with each other.

She loved the empowerment. She loved how it leveled the ball field in arguements. How can you argue with girl who has you locked in a chastity cage? Unfortunately, she was also finding it fun to make me wait. Even her kidding me about maybe not unlocking me for additional 7 days stopped all arguements. Extracting promises became more easy for her under the same threat. Promises not necessessarily kept. She also enjoyed finding out that little teases, like lifting her skirt, was all it took to drain the blood from my head. She thinks it’s funny.

So, the routine went: Abstain all week. Get unlocked for love on Saturday Night. The call from the Kitchen on Sunday morning, ” Don’t forget to put it back on before you come for breakfast”. I would put it on again, as usual. She’d peck me on the cheek, snap the little lock to the cage that I’d just put myself; clicking it shut, then serve me a glass of orange juice, and ask me what I had planned for the rest of the week.

And so on went this fun fantasy play for a couple of months. Then one night at dinner at a restaurant, told me she’d like to change things a little bit. She leaned over in the booth close to me and placed her hand in my lap, pressing her palm against the hardness of her Jewel box underneath, and whispered, “I want you to wear it all the time—-It’s better than a wedding ring”.

I’ll never forget the impact, and the power of her suggestion on me. Instantly, and involentarily the blood kind of rushed from my head, making me hard and tightly commpressed into the love tube locked on me. I could almost hear a little voice coming from The Jewel Box, shouting, “Yes, Yes. Thats what I want too, Honey. Take me. I love you so much. I surrender to your loving care! Unconditionally! Lets throw caution to the winds! Revel in your new empowerment. I’ll love every minute of it, too!

You know,You think stupid things like that when your girl, has you locked a little restraining device that holds you at plateau for as long as it pleases her.

When I regained my composure enough to ask her some questions. I asked her what she meant by “all the time?”. She said she thought it would be more fun if I never know when, or whether she was going to unlock me. Keep me in suspense. Her choice exclusively. It would be for her to know and me to find out. She promised not to abuse the game. Not to torment. Not to take it too far. She named one condition: Once committed, there would be no further discussion about it, unless she brought it up.

I agreed on the spot. We drank a glass of wine to it. It’s been six months now feeling a lot more love, lust and desire for my woman, who loves feeling loved and desired. Because of that, the tensions for each of us run high. The suspense and anticipation games are headdy for both os us. Unlockings are a frequent and joyous surprises. The sex is dynamite. We, both of us, really enjoy keeping the tension on the edge.

Sure, it’s just another boy/girl fantasy mind game, and, We’re still playing it. Still enjoying it. Having a lot of fun! Acting out some fun role playing just for the pure and joy of it.

a

Hi. Thank you all for your comments about orgasm denial. My wife and I have started an off-and-on play of it, which turns me on immensely, and, to borrow Richard’s idea, is a form of homage to her, as if the is in the mood to be in charge, to get satisfaction by my oral and other methods of satisfying her, and she can tease my cock, balls, nipples and my head, most of all, it is exhillerating to me, wow is it! Last night, she teased me for a good 15 minutes, then told me to go to sleep. And, to my surprise, soon, I calmed down, and did fall into a restful sleep. As we are still in the beginning stages of our D/s relationship, as she is a somewhat reluctant vanilla person, it is a joy to me, that she is willing to start evelving into being my loving dominant Mistress. Thanks for the great site!

Bob

I would think that there is more to orgasim denial then punishment. It’s emotional, psychological and physical. It’s about control, something the sub craves and the dom enjoys. But it also brings pleasure, the wanting, watch how much more attentive the sub becomes, selfish goal of reaching an orgasim, but still much more obedient and attentive. And the release when they are allowed to orgasim? How much better the steak when you have only had hot dogs for months.

It was only one year ago, April 30th, 2005. I found myself thinking of being subjected to enforced chastity as exciting. I can see that pent up energy being redirected into an increased feeling of servility. So congratulate me. I am approaching one year. I have a CB-200-, CB-3000, and the curve with a fool-proof escape detection with my setup. I habve been free a total of 12 days (most occured when a rash developed during my o-ring phase. Now I am caged weeks at a time and cant imagine ever living free again. My trainging is going very well. I know I will never be allowed to be free and have come to terms with the inconvenience of wearing my cage 24-7. IT is at times unbearable the tightness when the nightttime erections occur, the itching during my workday or the frusttrations and looking at porn or a beautiful woman or picture and not being able to get fukky hard and feel that intense pleasure rush (my points of intrigue prevent any pleasure during hardness). So in one more month I will be training one year, no what next ? The only thing that is missing is a good bull to keep my wife sex’d up.

We loved all the posts under this thread and wanted to add a couple things about us…

I am locked in my CB2000 anywhere from 3-4 days, to a week or two, once for a full 30 days. We use chastity as a play thing and go thru senerios that require me not being able to masturbate. My wife had trouble at first taking my CB2000 on and off of me but has mastered it now, and I am kept totally shaved. Most evening I am cuffed behind my back with a strap long enough to allow me to lay on my back with my arms tightly to my sides. She will remove the CB2000 and put a unlubricated condom over my cock and then take it for a ride until she has several orgasms. Often I perform oral on her first so she has as many orgasms as she wants, then I go right back into the CB2000 as soon as I am soft enough. I however am never allowed to cum without her permission, if I have an accident I stay locked up for 2 weeks as punishment. Also if granted permission to have an orgasm I have to agree to eat every single drop of my cum as a condition for release. Her telling me I have to eat my cum before I have an orgasm really turns me on but after I cum that desire goes away but she has me tied or makes me do it anyway

My wife loves to be in control of our sex life, tease my cock, keep my balls full of cum (as she says), use my cock for her pleasure, make me wait days to weeks to cum. She says I am much more attentive to her when kept unrelieved and much more passionate in our love making. I think she is right, I am so horney I am lost in lust waiting to cum… Gene & Deb

“One of the things that baffled me was the frequent assertion that men are less amenable to control once allowed to have an orgasm”

Many men enjoy the state of striving to be in control. Not being allowed to orgasm makes them feel out of control. They enjoy that constant state of striving for control that comes with this activity. Once they achieve orgasm they feel back in control and it is not as easy to control them. A man will do almost anything a woman sais in a desperate state of wanting to orgasm. Once that is achieved the cycle begins again and it takes a little while to get them back under control.

A few tangentially related thoughts here, if I may…

Simply, it is the use of what some call “edging” as part of a Orgasm Denial disciple to instill submission by teaching self-control. My way re this is likewise simple but very effective:

Naked, standing with my hands tied behind me & a spreader-bar affixed to my ankles holding my legs wide apart, I am first fitted with a cock ring around the base of my genitals. Then, I am slowly tickled, teased, molested, stroked, anally invigorated by my master; maintaining me agonizingly on the threshold of orgasm— my true agony being knowing that if I succumb & allow myself to ejaculate without permission, I will suffer my butt & thighs being whipped and made to endure another “lesson” (and another, as necessary until I learn).

Besides the fact that this “works” for the purpose, I should say it can also facilitate causing mutually shared transcendental estatic states.

As always, care & caring are of the essence.

Thank you…

The subject of Orgasm Denial naturally relates to “edging” as a way of training to teach a male self-control. In this regard, indulge me to aver these few notes:

 It is impossible to do this correctly & so ensure it works to achieving its goal unless one is held in some form of restraint (naked; in whatever manor suits, so long as he's bound utterly helpless and the genitals & anus are fully vulnerable for molesting)...
 Then, of course, he is continuously teased & invigorated (by whichever ways/means/toys may please) to repeatedly be brought to the threshold of orgasm but not causing (denying) him it...
 However, what really makes this "work," is that he knows that if/whenever he does succumb & ejaculates without permission, he will suffer a whipping (nothing sadistic; just smart enough to make it a meaningful reinforcer)...
 Besides the joys & merits of this way of taming, it can be further used to achieving transcendental states of ecstasy if employed for such purpose adeptly...
 In any case, care as well as caring are of the essence re practices like this...

Enjoy.