Sleepless

Continence: a fine old word that was once used almost exclusively in the sense of sexual self-restraint.

As I mentioned recently I decided to suspend or at least temper my frequent wanking (stemming from both her long absence and having bought a lot of pot).

Night before last I awoke in the middle of the night and was unable to get back to sleep. I wasn’t horny but hoped the post-endorphin release would help nod off I pleasured myself as they say in bad erotica. The orgasm was so disappointing that it felt akin to what I’ve suspected being milked must be like.

At 4:00 a.m. this morning I was awake again. This time my libido was bouncing up and down screaming “Me! Me! Me!” That I was teasing myself with thoughts of pet play with Alexandra didn’t help. The arousal was pleasant at first. But when I realized my body was trying to screw the air it was beginning to become stressful.

Alexandra was so pleased by my intent to honor her by abstaining that instead of wanking I got up. - Honey, when you read this I know you wouldn’t have minded my doing whatever was necessary to get back to sleep. - If nothing else this is an exploratory probe into the effect of orgasm denial on myself.

Oddly one of my concerns is that my natural erotic adaptability could leave me feeling something like “Chastity, yeah, sure - what’s for supper?” Though her scent and a few fetching outfits will my desire keen.

I think I had a couple of other points to make but now I’m going to try to get some sleep before my taxi arrives.