Ideal Dominant
» Cravings » Wishing Games
My ideal dominant has:
Intelligence: I don’t mean they are intellectual (a very distinct thing having to do with cultural acquisitions). That they can think clearly.
Ability to communicate: only a fool would put himself in the hands of someone who either can’t or won’t talk.
The real desire to dominate: the act of taking power over me has to be both her pleasure and need.
Sadism: her pleasure in my pain is like an electric current bonding us.
Skill: without craft she might be dangerous in a bad way. And a desire to hone her skills.
Moderation: ideally she seems ruthless but knows where to draw the line, when to stop.
Empathy: if she can’t see into the mind of others she’ll have no guide.
These seems sensible requirements in a play partner.
With Alexandra I have all of the above and:
Individuality: I could never mistake her for another.
Sensual power: nothing extra need be said.
Talent: craft taken to a level that can’t be taught. I couldn’t have guess how gifted she’d be.
Love: this is passion, romance, an interest in me as her lover, pet and slave. I never could’ve anticipated this nor guess how wonderful it would be.
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Master, Mistress, Goddess, Sir: whatever you might call your dominant what are the qualities and characteristics you would most like to find in an owner, play partner - sadistic or not: when you picture the person in your mind how do you see them?
Not what the person looks like: what sort of mind do they bring to their interplay with you? (This isn’t a test: no honest answer is wrong.)
(These questions are fairly common on BDSM forums. I thought I’d see if I could get a few of you to share your feelings with me here. This is 4 of 5 consecutive entries.)
Comments
Awwww.
I would so love to ask my little pet this question.
I don’t see how I can in a non-selfserving way. Though he is good at surprising me; he might actually tell me what he wants.
Posted by: R | February 13, 2006 7:55 PM
While this might seem self-serving it isn’t meant to be. You might tell him you saw this entry and tell him to leave an (anonymous is fine) comment outlining his own feelings. Being able to state these things in the third person can really open up your tongue. Even though I don’t post things she doesn’t know about I do find it loosens me up to not be addressing her directly.
Posted by: Richard | February 13, 2006 8:04 PM
From my point of view the most important thing is awareness, responsibility, and those kinds of things, your heart has to be in the right place… or… if I were to be a submissive my sense of self-preservation would force me to choose someone who seemed to care about me to some extent.
Then after all that you have the desire to inflict pain, which would easily be the most important thing if not for the whole responsibility issue.
Then finally the technical side and the desire to try new things.
Posted by: Alexandra | March 3, 2006 8:22 PM
My ideal dominate is practicaly a mindreader. He knows how I’m feeling, how aroused I am, how much I can take and how close to coming I am. He takes pleasure in my pain and is aroused by it, but his arousal is partly because he knows how aroused I am. He wants total control of my body and is interested in exploring all of it. He is creative and finds new and unusual ways of playing the dominance game.
He is of course good looking, but that is merely an ideal. Sensuality and power are much more important. Power is force of personality, but physical power is a nice extra.
Outside of the bedroom he is not dominate (0r a mindereader). BDSM is a game I like to play, not a way I could tolorate living.
Posted by: Blue | October 11, 2006 12:35 AM