Masochist Rebound Syndrome Revisited
» Cravings
Recently I wrote of how my wilted sex drive came to flourish once again just before Alexandra left. That once I was again alone my masochistic hunger started banging at me that I feared it would knock me witless.
That has abated. Er, some days. Last night wasn’t one of those. Sleep became impossible about 3:00 a.m. You know you have it bad when you pass the jar of Vicks Vaporub and think of smearing it on your cock.
Neither self-inflicted nor long-distance torment would work for me.
Some of those demented fantasies I thought gone for good return. But the range is so narrow that they often just bore me. Sigh grrr something
Most days I’m OK now. The business of life requires my attention.
And often I’m back to where the thought of kneeling before her - nothing much more - gives me an almost intolerable erection. The craving for surrender is equally intense but doesn’t leave me feeling angry or bitter.
Submissive feelings are often comforting. I think this is why for me bondage is at times almost serene: loss of control is sweet.
So I masturbate. Some days as much as my body will allow me. Maybe I should be grateful that my hormonal makeup isn’t what it was when I was seventeen. I might spend so much time massaging my cock nothing else would get done.
Earlier: The Pain of Not Being Hurt
