Mercilessly She Giggles at Your Helplessness
» Cravings
Under the misapprehension that Alexandra would be into kicking I dug around the web looking for F/m kicking. There’s quite a bit. The most memorable site showed Japanese schoolgirls. In one clip a young woman kicked a man in the crotch, sending him collapsing to the floor. With gleeful mockery she kicked him until he lay moaning and begging. I rarely manage to watch all of most thirty-second clips but this one I returned to at least a half dozen times.
Then I forgot about it.
When I bought Alexandra a (blush) schoolgirl outfit she mentioned that the cruel ‘schoolgirl’ is a routine fantasy. It hadn’t been for me. Until then. Frankly I find myself obsessed with it at times.
It is easy to see how young male masochists, their blood sizzling with the adolescent hormone cocktail, might become obsessed with dreams of being abused by their pretty classmates. But I didn’t.
Why now?
Anyone who has a rich fantasy life knows the keen pleasure of a fresh fantasy. The unkind young mistress replaced some of my more shelf worn images.
Watching too many horror movies perhaps. All the stereotypes of beautiful young women have often been brought to life in them. One person’s stereotype is another’s archetype.
My slavish side has often yearned for an egomaniac. While a girl blessed with the superpower of good looks isn’t really more apt to have less empathy than the average girl she is in popular culture. Vain, self-absorbed: males are just there to be used.
Have you ever wanted to be owned by someone indifferent to you? The wicked bimbo wouldn’t be more conscious of you than a hairpin. At best you are a toy to be put away when unwanted.
She’s heartless, haughty. You might be kicked or slapped not for failing her. You’d be a handy object on which she might vent her irritation at a missed phone call.
When she is aware of you she’ll probably laugh at you for being so helpless, seeing nothing more than a pathetic creature.
Want to be selfishly used, treated with contempt? The image of the diabolic young woman is perfect. Were I to ever pay a Prodomme this might be the fantasy I’d buy.
So, did you want to be crushed by one of your youthful crushes?
Comments
Oh, absolutely. There’s no doubt my tendency towards enjoying humiliation was massively developed by being mocked in front of the really attractive, popular girls at school. Just thinking about it now makes me really excited.
I’m lucky that my mistress/wife was one of the popular girls at her school. :)
Posted by: subadam | August 2, 2005 10:30 AM
Egomania is something I can both relate to and not relate to in a complicated way. Being a self-diagnosed ‘nurturing-sadist’ I’d find it hard to genuinely display the dominant ideal of the ignorant, self-absorbed teenage girl.
I am also quite bad at acting ;) Though I do feel that my genuine sadistic streak combined with my own sense of bloated self-importance which sometimes surfaces (it can be hard to find but like all artists, I have it!).
When I incorporate ignoring you, stashing you away in say a closet, as part of my range of comforable play I feel you may get closer to this state. As people will know from reading the latest entries I do enjoy giggling or laughing at you when you are helpless sometimes.
Another factor is that I truly despise those egomaniac girls - growing up with gender dysphoria it just seemed to me that these girls didn’t appreciate the gift they had been given. Of course being selfish in D/s is sexy, but in real life it’s unattractive. So there is an element of not wanting to go there in my fantasy life.
Basically, I think I’m evolving my own take on the D side of this fantasy, but it may take a long time to fully emerge.
And yes, I like kicking, but I find myself doing it too softly for you because I don’t want a trip to the hospital. Gradually, you will find I am kicking you harder.
Posted by: Alexandra | August 13, 2005 12:08 AM
I hadn’t thought of what monstrously self-absorbed young women might represent to you. Not that I’d care to spend a minute’s time in a real one’s company.
It is almost a pity but not really that neither of us have the knack of BDSM play-acting. Simply being Owner and slave is enough.
The way you were dressed last night was attractively girlish. Some night you’ll have on a similar outfit, be dominating me, laugh at me or seem haughty and my mind will fill in the gaps.
You know how grateful I am that you are so nurturing. But even the lightest kick has a quality of contempt. Not that it won’t be exciting as your kicks grow harsher.
Posted by: Richard | August 13, 2005 5:57 AM