On Not Fantasizing

I thought that when my D/s desires exceed Alexandra's I'd indulge myself in fantasies.

While I have a largish cast of fantasy dominants I've most often turned to two very different contexts.

There is the farm run by a very severe cruel woman. Farms are a good setting for BDSM fantasies. There are plenty of chores and you can picture yourself being forced to perform them in a hindered manner. A large isolated farm is an ideal place for 24/7 fantasies (not that I'd want 24/7 in real life).

And there's the guy I almost did get involved with and probably could now if I really wanted to. While the farm is ideal for outlandish scenarios thinking of him had the quality of plausibility.

But the BDSM Fantasy Network no longer runs in my brain.

I'm not sure if it is my strong natural monogamy asserting itself. It may be that having experience the reality with someone I really care about I'm just no longer able to involve myself in imaginary situations with others.

Alexandra asked me why I simply didn't fantasize about her, about things we'd done.

I'm wary of objectifying someone I really love. I fear I may forget that the person is a real person not a play toy of the mind. Also the fantasies would naturally be shaped by whatever I most craved at the moment. My fear is that involving her vicariously might inadvertently distort real life.

Not feeling like fantasizing sounds unhealthy and shocked me at first. But really I think it is for the best. And even the simplest real experience is more satisfying than something just made up to satisfy a craving.