Remembering and Reliving
» Cravings
Is there some fragment of autobiography, a moment from childhood or youth that you are trying to recreate in BDSM?
Call it an iconic instance: long ago some moment of pain, humiliation, letting go that some nights almost seems the essence of what you want from S&M or D/s? It helped define or create a core need that has evolved into a cherished fetish.
At eight - I’ve probably mentioned this too many times - there was a whipping that must’ve been one of the first erotic experiences of my life. My poor father if he knew how I’d invest sexuality into those few minutes he would’ve been torn by what seemed the incomprehensible shame of it. (Thankfully I never wanted to whipped by him again - nor was I.)
Was there an experience like that for you? When you ran your nightly sequence of inner videos did it come first or had to appear at least once before you brought yourself to orgasm? Did you like me often fret over the staging so that even though the event looked very different some necessary detail wasn’t omitted?
Most people with fetishes had this special moments. Many waste years fixated on aspects that can never be realized.
How many of them understand that?
Do you know yours?
Comments
I recieved quite a few spankings growing up,mom and dad shared in them until i was 9 then it was all dad. I started feeling funny inside when i was around 9 and watched as one of the boys in my class was paddled by the teacher, i had also been paddled by teachers in the past but after i turned 9 is when i started feeling funny inside. Being only 9 i had no idea what was going on but i did enjoy watching boys getting spanked. Even though i never enjoyed being spanked it was the anticipation of being taken over my dads knee having him take my underpants down and then spanking me with his belt. I did have a strange feeling of enjoyment after the spanking was over and actually would find ways of getting spanked in school or at home. On my birthday my classmates would find out and they would take me out into the woods behind the school where they would take my pants down around my knees and make me crawl through the old mill even though it hurt we all went through it and i definetly enjoyed giving a birthday spanking as well as recieving one.
Posted by: seabee | September 18, 2006 1:01 PM
I think many men had such experiences when young and like you found them very erotic.
Posted by: Richard | September 18, 2006 2:12 PM