Wanting to be Punished

(Another one I meant to spend more time on but I’m currently waging war with nicotine withdrawal. Besides most of you are probably out there in the - shudder - malls.)

The hope to be pleasing. The desire to comply. The love of obedience. And the helpless hunger for pain. The inescapable craving for pain to mingle with condemnation. Our honest hunger to be a good slave and to have fault found with us. Not easily reconciled.

With a statement that she doesn’t want to disappoint her dominant a slave confesses:

I do fantasize about punishments…(more fantasies about punishment than pleasure)

I fantasize about being punished every day of my life. For a failing. Not that I’d intentionally fail. That isn’t fair. So I invent pretexts. Maybe I’m found too slow. Or that I’m being punished for being a slave. For being male (rare). For being white (rarer). For enjoying the bodies of males (rarest). The ‘reasons’ are just pretexts.

Later in the conversation:

i am a masochist, but i fantasize about the mild mental punishments as well.

Which are more exciting the purely physical or mental punishments? I’m not sure there is a real distinction. But when the owner’s intent shifts from sadism to punishment the feelings are processed very differently.

The conversation continues. One of those odd contradictory feelings emerges:

we can role play or act out scenes in punishment. I dont know how well this will go over because he takes punishment as very serious and not as play.

I like that seriousness but don’t see how it can be more than role playing.

Another confesses:

have a fantasy of whipping me badly, unthil the skin was cut and then take me to the bathroom and he peeing on the wounds, i would be in pain and humiliated, and i would hate it and beg for it to stop while it happened

Now we are deep in the heart of Richard’s fantasy life. I’ve thought about salt, lemon juice, disinfectant but having your wounds pissed on is so breathtakingly degrading.

The originator of the thread continues:

I think my “punishment cravings” which may not be a good name for it…stems from a two year S&M relationship that was filled with mind control and mind fucks. He would produce scenes of “feeling lost”, “fear” not to count the physical pain/pleasure. I loved it. I loved feeling action and reaction.

To be honest I don’t know how many hours of how many nights of how many years I’ve wondered about that “fear” space.

Another adds:

Yeah, I fantasize about it. It’s more the psychological dominance of it that turns me on, though I do love the pain (if done properly).

When it reaches the most perfect realization I’m not sure how I could distinguish between the psychological and the physical. For a slavish masochist bliss arrives when the two converge in perfect harmony

By now I’m sure more has been added. I’m siting this forum post: Punishment Fantasy.