Erotic Fear and Breath Control

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Alexandra and I watched Fetishes, the documentary about the ProDommes who work at Pandora’s Box in Manhattan. I’d say the central message of the film was that professional dominatices are just people with a job. I was peeved that the maker was such a wimp and wouldn’t agree to a bit of soft BDSM play.

When I was watching the movie I didn’t feel a whit of arousal.(It snuck up on me after the film had concluded.)

Torture wheel

We both liked the Wheel. I’ve only seen one site selling one. If I could throw away $3,000 they’d have my cash. We’re still wondering if there’s a way she can at least spin me about the house. While I can picture myself bound within a giant hula-hoop I don’t know where we’d find such a thing. Or a seven foot wagon wheel.

Alexandra found breath control moving. When she told me I felt like running away and hiding. Surprisingly there are acts I’ve never even fantasized about. Being bound in a rubber suit and hood breathing through straws …! At work we carry some European S&M comics and this seems to be a common scenario. On sight I’d close any graphic novel with images of breath control.

Not that I haven’t had kindred fantasies.

At my most extreme chocking collars attached to both my neck and testicles forcing me to be very still. Or making a whipping yet more thrilling.

More sanely a scarf or sash snugly around my neck. Or my neck gripped by fingers. Maybe squeezed for just an instant. Or sitting there while helpless vulnerability is mockingly pointed out. But nothing more.

Erotic fear is something I’ve often thought about without ever managing to come to any conclusion. If the adrenal boost of fear wasn’t pleasurable horror movies and books would’ve passed the way of epic poetry.

Would I try it to make her happy? I took a quick scan of the available breath control toys. Expensive!

Even if they were cheap I don’t think I’m up to this. This would chase me into an emotional space that could hurt me.

Not that it is something she’s asked for. Just found interesting. And I can see how the ultimate exercise of power would compel a dominant.

Maybe one day we’ll be able to explore this terrifying form of surrender.

For now we have a wealth of unexplored D/s possibilities.

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I did some moderately serious research into breath control (having had some little knowledge from my husband’s career as a martial artist) and concluded that the best tool is one’s hands. One has lots of control and it’s quite easy to release the subject when unconsciousness, or the desired degree of panic, is achieved.

My previous experience, as a total novice being coached by a devotee, was to use the thighs to put the person out. While this is evocative, I wasn’t comfortable with it—the only indication the person is out is that one feels them go limp. (Keeping the person visible requires some contortion.)

My former pet really wanted me to cinch a belt about his neck, but it just wasn’t something I considered safe. I started by pressing the carotid artery (what the police do), knowing this was safer than going for the windpipe, which can be crushed.

However, this can apparently cause irregular heartbeat, so I stopped doing that.

I used to enjoy crushing him against my chest so my breasts actually sealed his mouth and nose closed. I counted how long I took his air—I figure anyone can handle 30-40 seconds or so. It gives one much more control than the traditional fantasy of being “queened” until the subject has no oxygen (which I only tried once—didn’t really do it for me).

When I finally put my pet under, I simply held his nose shut, after taping over his mouth with several layers of bondage tape. I gave him a ball to hold, knowing that when he went out, he’d drop it.

It was terrifying.

Before that, he had regretted that I did not take him all the way under, but after experiencing it in its entirety the one time I did it to him, I don’t think he would have objected if I only took him partway again.

Sadly, I never got a chance.

It is quite a rush to literally hold someone’s life in your hands, and I enjoyed watching him struggle, both physically and mentally, with what I was doing to him. He was so brave, and he was doing something that terrified him, for me.

I know there are many people who say one should never ever do this.

But I’d do it again.

ooooh—this one really scares me. i mean, it’s your life, your body—only you can know what your limits are. but i guess i’m pretty mainstream and conservative about this. i’d say don’t do it.

it is interesting though. but i guess this is something i wouldn;t touch with a 10 foot pole personally.

R, In the hands of someone as competent and careful as yourself it probably isn’t more dangerous than, say, extreme sports. But I’m not nearly as brave as your guy was. Not nearly ready to explore that kind of terror.

It’s only the light breath play that was appealing to me. Seeing her close the airways on the rubber suit for a very brief time and giggling was very inspiring. I’m not interested in causing loss of consciousness or even discomfort with the breath, it was just the control/power and the fundamental violation of the slave’s basic bodily function.

The wheel was more fun, and that could be easily recreated in some other form. I’d like some kind of clear, human-sized piping that I could seal Richard in and then roll him around until he gets dizzy (and it being clear means he can have a nice view).

Heh, not to sound like a blog spammer but…

Here is an interesting link about Breath Play:

Seems like many are trying to define for themselves (to gain understanding) dom/sub with a cherished partner. This is refreshing since I think that many of us think about these fantasies, but the hardcore sites cheapen the acts, thereby making them seem like a perverse oddity. Thanks for the openness that brings normality and non-extremism into the topic. Thanks!

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