How Do You Punish a Masochist?

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How do you punish a masochist has a stock joke response.

If someone is a pure masochist, enjoys pain but not personal surrender then the stock answer applies. Sort of, if a person doesn't have a submissive side then there's no reason to punish him.

When I'm in slave space my strongest desire to be obedient. A strong blow combined with an angry command to hurry or stop hesitating really does urge me on. And masochist I may be but it hurts. The pleasure I get from it is deferred, sometimes happening mostly in recollection. At the time it mostly quickens my need to serve. My immediate response is to go more deeply into slave space.

So how do you punish a masochistic slave?

It may sound oxymoronic but hit him hard enough. Two or three biting lashes aren't enough to provide the endorphin rush that converts pain into pleasure.

My own guess is that the punishment needs to evoke feelings of shame or some other sort of mostly emotional stress.

Emotional D/s has fascinated me but it is really potentially more dangerous than physical torture. I've never been able to properly sort out my own feelings about it. My interest in it is to find myself pushed ever more ardently into slavishness.

Imagine being place alone in a room bound in some uncomfortable position, say, your head tied low so you have to hold your self up or try to half-lie in a trying position. Perhaps with a blindfold and earplug so there's no external stimuli. Or in front of a mirror and clock forcing you to see yourself as you are and watch each minute pass. Or put in a closet or cramped space.

You might object that I've probably fantasized about this kind of thing. Not really. I've thought about it. I was trying to explore the idea of being reconditioned, made more servile. Since D/s is normally so stimulating boredom and discomfort were the only behavior modifying tools I could think of.

The trick is how long is the slave left like this. If your sessions are normally short there probably isn't enough time for this kind of thing to be effective. Or the dominant might become bored by the inactivity.

Another possibility that occurred to me was being forcing the slave to do something exceptionally repulsive like hold his head over a dirty cat litter box. Or the childhood classic: making him wash his mouth out with soap if his words or tone is disrespectful. I suspect the list of extremely disgusting possibilities is vast.

Maybe some special form of torment that is reserved only for punishment like testicle squeezing. (It sounds uncomfortably like animal training but I suspect one of the key elements of punishment would be consistency.


Or perform a chore in a cumbersome and hampered manner, perhaps wrists and legs on a very short chain making moving and staying upright difficult. Again the question is what duration. Alexandra reminded me that she recently punished me by refusing to let my lick her boots. Worshipping her that way is one of my strongest desires when in slave space. Effective emotional punishment but mild and harmless.

Punishing a masochistic male slave

Given little time a harsh reprimand and biting pain, the canonical treatment, is the easiest form of punishment. If a slave has a real need to be pleasing spoken criticism does have meaning for him.

The real answer like many things is really what works for the individual couple.

Perhaps you'll leave your own suggestion about punishing a masochist.

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I am a masochist and punishment to me is so different from engaging in S&M play as a masochist. I have seen this question asked many times over the years and I always give the same answer. I don’t want to disappoint…if I do then punishing me does not evoke the masochistic side as I have disappointed. So Master could punish me with my favorite S&M toy and I would not derive the same feelings I do when I am in that masochistic mode. I would only feel the guilt, shame and feelings of disappointing my Master. So for me it does not matter that I am masochist because when I am being punished that does not come out - only the feelings of diappointing my Master are there.

I don’t want to disappoint…if I do then punishing me does not evoke the masochistic side as I have disappointed.

When Alexandra has actually seemed angry and punished me it isn’t the same as when she’s whipping me simply because she can. There’s a real shame that makes the blow of the cane hurt more.

But since we don’t live within a D/s framework all the time when I recall the experience later there’s a satisfaction that I either can’t or don’t want to explain. It reaches deeply into childhood experiences. But the satisfaction is only after the fact, not when it is happening.

Please Mistress punish me!


As Alexandra pointed out elsewhere her most potent punishment of me was refusing to allow me to lick her boots. Since she likes my tongue on her footwear she was also depriving herself.

She likes to whip me just for the sadistic pleasure of it. Which is different than punishing me. In giving up using me as her human whipping post she would again be giving up something she enjoys.

Hence, the suggestions I made here.

When i am punished things are a whole lot different than when my Wife/Mistress and i are playing. My Wife is much harsher and the punishment is swift and hard. She does not do a “warm-up” as She does when we play but instead i am secured tightly to our strapping bench and the punishment is delivered full bore and for whatever duration She desires. Needless to say it is rather unpleasant and the desired behaviour change is achieved. She also punishes me for masturbating without permission by securing my hands to a special device she had built and strapping them with a wicked tawse. Receiving ten strokes on each hand has a lasting effect and i do my best to control my urges. She has only had to use this punishment a couple times in five years which gives an idea of how much i try to avoid it.

The way I am punished as a masochist is my husband doesn’t hurt me and play up his ‘sadist’ side. But he likes to see me cry, so he is actually punishing himself this way too.

Here’s how my Dom and Life partner chooses to punish me. It is outside of “accepted” S&M Practices, but it works for us. First, i am informed of my misdeed. Then, i am assigned a dose of punishment - it could be a certain number of strokes, a time frame with clamps, or any combination of Her arsenal. Then we play. As i reach my limits, the intensity increases. When I cannot take any more, when I am soooo close to my stopword and my erection is gone, then She stops. There is a defined transition between play and punishment. Sometimes, I am untied and allowed to move about a bit, sometimes not. When She is ready, my punishment begins. Usually by the time it ends, i am begging for Her to stop; physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. Do i enjoy it? NO! The pleasure is long gone. Does She? Maybe. But likely not. Does it work? Every time. Pleasure is Pleasure. Punishment is a Task.

I am doing research for a report and I was just wondering what a masochist would do to need punishment

Punishment can be a part of play. I.e., rules are invented so there is an excuse for punishment.

In lifestyle relationships you could almost say that a submissive person is treated like a child and behavior modified by physical or emotional pain.

One of the reasons I would probably never be happy with lifestyle D/s.

I’m sure you can find many other views.

l think you should put more about slaves because l am doing a research about the they were treated by their did the the slaves feel about that

my name is tawanda please replay me back


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