The power of protocols, rituals, rules and ceremonies
» D/s Practices » Rules & Rituals
No image has captured my D/s dreams more clearly than this. It is both the external details of his bondage and the sense of genuine worship. By Nanshakh.
Back in March I wrote of one of the rituals that was frequently a part of my fantasies.
I saw myself putting on ankle, wrist and neck collars and at each step saying that I was freely surrendering my body, mind, heart, freedom. It seem very moving and humbling.
Earlier in January I wondered about the effect bondage that rendered me clumsy and stumbling might have on me.
It did hit me that having to overcome being hampered and distracted would force me to make a greater effort on serving which in itself might be worthwhile.
Very worthwhile.
Awkwardness and Confusion in D/s
And a sketch from November of last year:
. . . when she would don the role of owner she decided to set up protocols that defined my every movement and act. Partly she did it because it clearly separated my times as property. Partly it gave her an excuse to punish me.
In May she decided that she’d like to humble me by allowing me to refer to myself only as her slave: Goodbye Personal Pronouns. Our exploration of gentle play and external distractions have kept us from doing this.
Why has this been on my mind on and off for many months?
The goal is to make it easier for each of us to more readily enter our respective D/s roles when we play.
Rituals to enrich our relationship
No protocol to this. It is another image that has always moved me deeply. He looks as if he’s been completely, taken, tamed and reduced. By Gene Bilbrew.
Alexandra has told me she will be writing a list of protocols that will be in force during at least some of our time in D/s.
I know that personal pronoun elimination will be part of it.
And keeping my head down in a humble position.
What else? A rule governing how I get her attention to be allowed to speak? I don’t really know how many limitations, ceremonial acts she has in mind.
The prospect thrills me. Sure there is the natural slavish desire to enter the most servile state. A desire where greediness meets the wish to please on equal terms.
Behavior modification, attitude adjustment, call it what you will. I’ve often felt a need for uncompromising training To say that I ‘want’ to be slapped in the face rather than forgiven isn’t the expression of simple perviness. Without chastisements or forfeits there won’t be any conditioning. Typical oxymoronic aspect of much of D/s: wanting/fearing.
Punishment - be it pain or degradation - becomes a very powerful tool. When I’m her slave I want to consciously aware of her as owner, myself as property. Not let it slide to the rear of my mind.
What would I get out of strict training? A surer sense of role might make me feel more confident of trying to please her, satisfying her needs. Diminish some of the misfires.
My hope is to more readily experience unconditional worship. I’ve said that worship is for me the BDSM equivalent of romantic love. I think the emotion passes along the same neural pathways and allows one to feel the same flawless joy in another person.
Comments
My slave is having a problem with changing roles. He is a type A personality but has a very deep desire and need to serve. He is a business owner and has to be dominant during the day (construction) and finds it difficult to switch that role by the time he gets home. I have decided to bring a more strict, almost military, routine to our lives while at home. Any advice to help him get over his bumps?
Posted by: Ms Cin | January 12, 2006 9:57 PM
Naturally I can only project from my own mind, experience.
I
When he comes home from work lying down and taking a short nap or resting his eyes for half an hour might let him shake off the mental residue of work.
This might sound odd: get him to drink a glass of milk, protein drink or the like in case his blood sugar is low from not having eaten since lunch.
II
Then some regular act of homage.
I could be something light like always giving you a massage, making you a cup of tea. Or simply coming and sitting silently at your feet.
Or – this is something that would certainly be very moving for me: kneeling and asking to wear his collar and being permitted to serve you that evening.
I’ve heard of some people reciting a slave’s prayer at a set time each day.
III
You speak of becoming strict.
Are there things he is supposed to do or forbidden to do while he is away? You could review those with mild chastisement or praise depending on his performance.
Or review his behavior as a slave at home the prior day.
What speech, posture and behavior restrictions that might help at home is unique to the couple I think. My (very subjective) feeling is that consistent enforcement of the rules can be more important than the rules per se.
Posted by: Richard | January 13, 2006 6:52 AM