Transitions & collars (The Long Night)

Last Wednesday, which I think of as the Long Night was the best evening I've had when Alexandra and I become owner and slave. Alexandra took control of me twice, each time helping me explore my needs in new ways.

Alexandra sometimes expresses doubts because she is comparatively knew to domination. I think the Long Night should put her concerns to rest. She took me down, we returned to normality and later she took me down again. To be able to handle such transitions so gracefully shows I think her instinctive grasp of mastery.

When we first talked of D/s I thought we'd need a clear marker of when she became my Goddess and I her slave: I thought collaring me might be the best idea. That hasn't been necessarily. When she orders me out of my clothing or to the floor it all flows naturally. Collaring and uncollaring me might've broken some of that smooth flow.

To be honest I still crave being collared. I've long associated having one around my neck as an explicit symbol of my status as property. But collars don't convey that to Alexandra so having her put one on me wouldn't really have emotional validity.

Perhaps if we move to other styles of D/s, say, a long stretch during an overall normal day, the collar will serve a purpose. We've many styles of interaction to explore. The collar isn't something about which I'm going to be childishly needy. It certain respects it all has to flow from her.