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Penile Self-Amputation

Men whose masochism causes them to want – need? - to have their penis cut or even removed.

Really Real Slavery

Sadomasochism and the unhealthy search for real life enslavement.

Howdy Y'all

Amazingly enough I'm not dead.

10 Sins of D/s and S&M

BDSM requires empathy, clarity and humanity for happy and satisfying practice.

No Sex for You Mr! Don't Even Talk About It!

The femdom fantasy of permanent male chastity, lifestyle, lifetime orgasm denial.

Submissive Men as Prey

Femdom gold diggers and worthless money dominatrices.

Superhuman / Subhuman

Many submissive men would have to be superhuman to endure their BDSM fantasies of being rendered subhuman.

Would You Force Your Son to Wear a CB6000?

Enforced male chastity, orgasm denial for boys?

TPE as Self-Help

Lifestyle BDSM as a form of self-improvement for the submissive member of the relationship.

Male Emotional Masochism & Self-Esteem

Desires for humiliation and degradation shouldn’t cause a man to doubt his value as a human being. But he should accept that some female sadists are unable to cope with these desires.

Femdom Kink is Vanilla

Sexist stereotypes recapitulate themselves too often in female domination and male submission.

Annoying Sadistic Impulses

Transitory confusion as my BDSM desires sort themselves out after the end of my prior relationship.

State of Richard Update

Damn, I can't sleep, I'm not getting anything worthwhile done.


Spending time in jail could've given me a chance to live out some BDSM fantasies. Instead being locked up taught me that some desires may be unrealizable.

Femdom Categorical Imperatives

Foolish rules and guidelines that are supposed to govern female dominant, submissive male power exchange relationships.

Superior Tops & Inferior Bottoms

Belief that BDSM power exchange relationships require an inherently superior dominant and really inferior submissive person.

Online Conversations about BDSM

Participants in discussions of BDSM often forget their hidden private assumptions and buried premises. This makes useful conversation about kink and fetish difficult.

Tops: Self-Acceptance, Self-Control, BDSM Addiction

Coping with being dominant and sadistic. Accepting your needs, maintaining the balance in your relationship.

Ludic BDSM

D/s, kink, fetish, power exchange are about pleasure, fulfillment, finding happiness. Don't let anyone turn your kink life into some sort of morality play or ethical trial.

The 5 Essentials of Femdom Relationships

BDSM friendships and romance require certain personal qualities whether dominant top or submissive bottom.

Topping from the Bottom

BDSM relationships and play require emotional honesty and clarity lest one get lost in stereotypes like service tops and unreal slaves.

Structured Topping from the Bottom

Allowing the masochist to set the agenda for torture sessions as a way of healing a troubled sadomasochistic love affair.

Her Aftercare

Dominants and sadists need time for emotional recovery and reassurance.

Asking For What You Want

Getting your submissive and masochistic needs met is not topping from the bottom.

25 Micrograms

Hypothyroidism and BDSM. Will an increase in my synthroid dosage restore my capacity for intense S&M sessions.

Too Submissive?

Pompous femdom blogger finds himself rejected by his mistress and makes up a sad excuse.

Happy Fetishists as Role Models

Psychological rewards of kink.

What is Wrong With Loving Female Authority

LFA and FLR models of female dominance and male submission don't work for every man, woman or couple. Trying to conform will probably only send you to divorce court.

BDSM and Libido

What becomes of kink and fetish play when erotic passion seems almost dead?

The Submissive Person is in Control?

Misconception that limits and safewords mean that the slave or bottom is in charge of BDSM scenes and play.

Submissive or Bottom?

The limitations inherent in the often narrow terms used for BDSM roles commonly used by people. Real people rarely match the labels, often combining many different elements and aspects.

What if She Tried to Commit Suicide?

If the Domme almost kills herself in what emotional state does that leave the male slave, submissive man?

Play and Have Fun

Is it OK to laugh during a BDSM scene? Can humor kink and fetish blend together?

A Submissive Male Can Still Be a Man

Even a F/m relationship with a man worshiping a woman as a goddess doesn't mean he isn't masculine and shouldn't express his needs.

S&M and Stress : A Scene

Creating a happy BDSM play scene as a form of emotional release during times of emotional turmoil.

Your True Way

A woman wishing to explore female dominance need to establish her own metaphor, personal style: not be misled by people teaching abstract rules or preachings of perfect norms.

Communicating Kinks

Sharing fetishes and BDSM desires and appetites with your dominant or submissive partner.

A Lifestyle Created By Us

Master or Mistress, slave or submissive, top or bottom: whatever BDSM label don't let anyone convince you that your kink or fetish requires you to match some imaginary norm or ideal.

Yuck! My Boyfriend is a Foot Fetishist

Sexual desire, erotic mood can't always be perfectly symmetrical or balanced.

Who Has the Best BDSM?

Men in the Femdom, fetish and kink communities who claim to know the right way to practices D/s and S&M.

D/s : Just One Part of a Full Life

The psychological possibility of sustaining a BDSM dynamic 24/7 in a loving relationship.

Submissive Men : Common False Assumptions

D/s psychology: stereotypes and emotional health in the search for dominant females.


Dominants and submissives grow and change as BDSM becomes a part of their real lives and relationships.

The Problem of Freedom

The illusion of consensual nonconsensual in BDSM play and the desire of some submissive persons to be coerced rather than offer voluntary subordination to their dominant.

Dommes & Vulnerability

She may be your Femdom goddess but there may be nights when as a submissive man and her lover you are able to be strong for her as she cries.

Who Will Be America's Truest Submissive

BDSM relationships: some people fear their adoration, desire to please is inadequate, inauthentic. Often they are allowing the prescriptions of self-imagined arbiters to delude them.

Impotence? Castration?

Submissive men who want their sexuality, penis or testicles removed, nufflied, destroyed by a dominant woman.

How Can You Know You Want What You've Never Had?

Larry Townsend's Leather Notebook: advice to a man seeking a life of unconditional slavery. The guy had no experience of BDSM and assumed he really knew his true needs.

Denied Sex With Girlfriend or Wife?

F/m infidelity: Mistress denies man right to have sex with his wife. An usual mix of D/s and infidelity.

Principle of Least Interest

Establishing dominance and submission in traditional heterosexual romantic and marital relationships.

Again: How To Meet a Dominant Woman

The psychology of approaching Dommes who might be willing to establish some sort of relationship with you.

Femdom Erotica and Emotional Health

Psychological effects of submissive men seeing female domination pornography on the web. How does it interfere with their communication with dominant women?

She Will Need You

What does a good submissive man / person do in a situation when the dominant is weak, ill or tired?


Trying to discern the reality of my BDSM, masochistic and slavish desires from what I really need as a submissive man who love the woman / Goddess in his life.

Safeword? Yes!

Refusing a safeword isn't doing the dominant a favor - it is selfish and demanding.

BDSM: Best Kept Out of Sight?

Children of a couple that practices D/s and S&M - will their parents sexuality damage or pervert the boys and girls?

Clarity and Communication

BDSM friendships and love affairs require honesty, openness and conversation.


D/s relationships: are you a service-oriented slave or a masochist who needs punishment and confinement?

Crush Erotica

Thoughts about videos featuring women crushing animals and the object crush kink.

Sick : An Afterthought

Bob Flanagan and Sheree Rose capture how sadomasochism and romantic love blend in Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist.

BDSM : The One True Way?

There is no specific right path, master plan for people who engage in S&M and D/s whether as play or a life together.

Mistakes: Don't Bother with Shame & Blame

Doms and Dommes will make bad choices, incorrect decisions. In D/s we learn, grow and improve. Don't get caught up in negative emotions.

Over Communication?

Can Misstresses, Masters, slaves and submissives ever talk too much about their wants, needs and desires?

Chastity as a Means of Emotional Recovery

Sexual recovery, psychological healing from an orgasm denial program.

Communication & Honesty

The submissive, slave must speak the truth to the dominant, master or mistress.

Thirst & Pain

A component for sadists to evaluate during sessions with masochists.

Masochist's Erections

Should a dominant expect a male submissive's penis to remain hard during S&M play?


Recovering from an intense S&M session or D/s scene, tending to each partner's needs after BDSM play.

The Romantic Fetishist

The person of the dominant is more important than the fetish object she or he may be wearing.

Midori On the Good Domme

Her power over her slave begets an awe at the wonders she works as she calls forth his submission.

The Pretty, Pervy Band-Aid Called D/s

D/s relationships will not solve all of life's problems, cure your emotional ills.

Erotic Humiliation

Emotional sadomasochism can be satisfying but tricky. You may humiliate your partner but you must never harm his ego or heart.


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