BDSM: Best Kept Out of Sight?

» Emotional Health

How the vanilla majority sees those of us that engage in BDSM sexuality can be appalling. But not always. A woman writes MSNBC’s advice columnist Dr. Gail Saltz:

Q. Recently, I discovered a side of myself I never knew existed: submission. My husband and I have begun to live a dominant-submissive lifestyle. We have educated ourselves on the topic and are very respectful to one another. This is voluntary submission on my part and should not in any way be confused with domestic violence. …

Part of Dr. Saltz’s response:

It’s perfectly fine for a couple to be sexually excited by dominant and submissive roles and to enjoy this as part of their sex life, but I caution you to keep this behind closed doors.

The advice to keep BDSM play behind closed doors is made for fear that children in the household might grow up to see all women as submissive and men dominant. While most folks engaged in D/s would largely agree I’ve read members of F/m couples all but say they are raising their female children to become Dommes.

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Raising your children to have a certain sexuality - that’s downright evil and selfish. Parents are supposed to help children realize themselves, not force their own compulsions onto them.

Plus, it would surely create irrational expectations in these children about life?

Just a guess.

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