BDSM : The One True Way?

Then you read a forum post by a man who insists that for a man to be truly submissive he must be kept in chastity. Or - more narrowly - wear a chastity belt.

Or the more common am I a “good” submissive/slave because I feel, need, want - so many things. Sadly it is most often feeling a need to talk and explain their point of view. Though you get the baffled dominant wondering if they are really a good Dom(me) because she or he is kind or tolerant.

There is no master formula, secret ingredient, hidden cosmic law that requires people who engage in BDSM act one certain way or another.

Whether you want to own or be owned, to control or kneel D/s interaction is between two people. If they are people worth owning or being the property of each is a an individual.

Call voluntary power exchange and equation. You wouldn’t expect the equation to always yield the result of 6, now would you?

One thing BDSM shares with relationships and almost anything that can bring joy in life: be yourself. Search your heart and mind and discover your real needs. Keep them in mind when looking for a slave, servant, mistress or master (or whatever the heck).

All relationships involve compromises. Sure in some D/s relationships it can be a very unusual sort of compromise. Depends on the specifics of the two people involved.

When seeking woman or man for BDSM make sure your respective desires and needs harmonize. And that any compromises necessary are ones each of you are willing to make.

Were this done then there’d be fewer accusations that most people searching online are fakes, phonies, insincere, etc. - you must know the whole rant.

Don’t fall for statements that there is an absolute right way and no other. You have to search for what is right for you. And - this advice can never be given too often - be honest. Strive to be honest with yourself: if you aren’t then it is just about impossible to be true to anyone else.

There is no one true way for everybody.