Communication & Honesty

» Emotional Health

Alexandra and I just had a satisfying chat tonight.

In a complicated relationship between two complicated people things can get, well, complicated.

The importance of communication is a cliché in BDSM. And romance and hopefully even in friendship.

After we’d worked out some minor issues that might’ve become major I found myself wondering how many people are actually able to communicate adequately in D/s relationships.

My bias is to hope maybe better than the majority population. Those of us with fetishes and kinks need to engage in the best dialogue possible. Otherwise the scene will be bad maybe even hurtful.

Sadly I wondered if M/f partners are better at it than F/m.

Submissive men often express the “I’ll do anything” meme. Submissive women seem to have a saner understanding of what the want from a dominant partner. Of course he may become the father of their children. Wonder how much that affects things.

On the web I do see submissive guys driven by need to deny that they have needs. That is foolish. The perfectly submissive person doesn’t exist. If he sometimes seems to it is because he and the woman harmonize.

There’s no honor or service in not being honest. You’ll only disappoint and fail her if you don’t confess your desires and needs. Which isn’t the same as demanding something.

As far as I’ve been able to discern most dominant women enjoy satisfying a sane and honest kink. She enjoys watching you helplessly sink into submission and your uncontrolled response is another confirmation of her power.

Don’t cheat her with well-intentioned dishonesty.

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Comments

Hey, that was a good post. Hard to remember at times. I’m in a serious relationship and we communicate a lot but I still fight my submissiveness.

Even when you badly want to feel submissive it isn’t always easy. Distractions from the workaday world can too easily block you from accessing that part of your brain. At least that is one of my big obstacles.

But if you two are communicating you’ll surely work it all out.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Communication & Honesty. Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard


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