Her Aftercare

Midori is one of the few writers I can recall writing about the aftercare needs of the dominant partner. Even many of the better authors of BDSM books are caught up in explaining the top’s role and responsibilities that her or his emotional needs fall by the wayside.

Alexandra recently wrote:

Dominants rarely speak of enjoying aftercare and for me it’s usually a time of quiet motherly leadership and reassuring affection, but I’m lucky in that my pet has a nurturing, almost motherly streak of his own (I have noted that at rare times he almost becomes womanly, though not in an overtly feminine way). Letting me squeeze him possessively and having him rub my worries away has always been a blessing for all aspects of my psyche.

Aftercare For The Dominant

Often at the end of a session I thank her. It isn’t ritual.

For a brief time she’s created a private island universe of great shared beauty. How can I not feel grateful?

I hope I’ve never neglected her need for aftercare. I do remember learning one lesson.

A couple of times at the end I’d bounce straight out of surrender. No transition. That dimmed her own afterglow.

And I was cheating myself, letting the special time end too quickly. During a few intense times I’d needily lay at her feet as I transition back to conventional emotional space.

It isn’t as if there any rush to escape what has been so deeply enjoyed.