Ludic BDSM

» Emotional Health

Play: funny how this is often treated as a bad word in BDSM.

Play is - ahem - unreal: it isn’t the mark of a true Mistress/Master or slave/submissive person.

You’d think that BDSM stands for Baptist Dommes Suppressing Men.

Truly there are times when I do worship Alexandra. But it ain’t like I’m in church. The emotional roles are not some sort of moral requirement. D/s - should be ethical - but it isn’t an exercise in ethics.

Play in commonplace minds isn’t serious. Near as I can tell I get several decades then the worms have their repast. In a finite lifetime what could be more serious than having a good time?

Consensual power exchange is about personal fulfillment. Ah, that sounds too serious. It is about giving and getting pleasure.

Sadomasochism is yummy.

Trying to push the edge, seeking to overcome a limitation is a submissive masochist’s way of trying to please his beloved. A reason to smile. But some of those limitations are hard. A lack of ability is not a moral failing.

If anything the search for sane pleasure is a moral act.

The majority of mankind (at least in industrialized countries) spends their lives in boredom. Or just on the edge of it. Take away the hum of the TV and millions of people would be at a loss as to how to spend an hour.

Their television sets provide them with distraction. That isn’t the warm, hot blooded excitement those of us who engage in S&M and power exchange enjoy. A flogging is better than a bag of potato chips. Licking boots has more joy than a delivered pizza.

We claim ecstasy as our right.

It is sad - annoying - to read tops and bottoms who present BDSM as a form of piety. We make our partner happy. If we don’t our time might be better-spent working crossword puzzles.

To have a fetish that needs realization isn’t a failing. It can be a key to living a life better than merely average.

So play. Play hard. I’d say play fair but you know how some tops can be.

Never let someone persuade you that your pursuit of pleasure, fulfillment and joy is anything but a sane and wise course.

Do it for fun!

Oh dear, I already wrote Femdom : Do It For Fun!.

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Comments

Lots of very good points here. People often look down on those who actually enjoy bdsm or those who have limits….as if being some spineless “I’ll do anything” type is something to aspire to.

Anyone who denies the importance of pleasure in life is worse than a fool.

You’re right about BDSM being a form of play, in a deeper sense than just “something fun”.

In a way, I think the people who brag about how deep their TPE is are missing the point of the boundary-crossing that is BDSM, moving from the mundane to the magical, back and forth across the magic circle. Without the contrast of the everyday, would kink be as sweet?

That people find the word play trivializing is probably one of the many hangovers of puritanism in the minds often more sensitive and sane men and women. It is just as silly as if someone pushed the notion that music should never be cheering and uplifting. That would be a sadly dour view of music.

Aside from issues of risk and consent right and wrong rarely has a proper place in erotic discourse.

I guess frustrated tops and bottoms get where they take what they are after so horrifyingly seriously that they lose reasonable perspective on acts and experiences that if they don’t enhance the beauty of life aren’t worth bothering with.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Ludic BDSM. Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard


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