Midori On the Good Domme
» Emotional Health
It might be best for me to start this by pointing out that we aren’t a lifestyle couple. And that our play involves a fair amount of S&M.
More than once Midori quotes Joseph Bean (Flogging) maxim that a dominant seduces consent from the bottom. From her chapter on the essential dominant:
Humility begets respect
The good domme understands that she must be humble in the presence of the magic that she invokes There is a moment, during the most amazing scenes, where the rest of the world melts away In a universe of two she is god To accept that she must be humble. She must know that she is a mortal woman at all other times.
In the context of erotic dominance as it is often found on the web that sounds radical if not heretical. The words are those one of the world’s most respected Domina’s, not mine.
Shocking? Perhaps. Perhaps more so to submissive people than dominants. It plays against fantasies, even mine.
Does this seem meaningless to some lifestyle people. Likely, though Midori herself has engaged in many 24/7 relationships. To read the weblogs of some lifestyle couples D/s sometimes seems bereft of grace and beauty. More like being trapped in high school detention for all eternity.
Those nights when Alexandra has taken me to the inmost part of my need to surrender and to suffer pain the universe does seem to vanish. She is the center of everything, in a dim fashion I exist as well but it seems only as an extension of her will.
Since I’m not a lifestyle slave those evening epiphanies are what I’m seeking. There have been many single nights for which I can never thank Alexandra enough.
My heart is so open to her, my body vulnerable that I’m wholly dependent on her awareness of her acts and my responses. If her mind were to spin off into recklessness we might face a morning of many regrets.
Not that I don’t want to see something feral and primal in her. But however merciless and selfish she may become somewhere in her brain is a cluster of cells that will protect me.
Comments
Obviously you know I’m not suprised. I’m just a normal person with scars, insecurities and moments of weakness as well as my strengths. Just go look at my personal weblog to verify that.
People seem to want to make everything so one-dimensional sometimes. Like they’d only submit to some kind of remorseless human crushing machine, anything else would be a compromise - maybe this is their way of feeling tough and retaining macho pride in the face of submission and masochism? I don’t know.
But from my point of view: If a man can only accept me if I’m this ideal vestige of dominance for him, then how is that satisfying for me?
For sure, it’s a bad sign if a submissive discourages you to express your feelings or doesn’t want to be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.
Although I can appear arrogant at times (and as a musician this is my god given right!) I try to keep ego thoughts at bay with all of my creative outlets. Be it dancing, composing or flogging, I just get by better without them.
Posted by: Alexandra | January 28, 2006 4:10 PM