Over Communication?
» Emotional Health
Is there such a think in BDSM as striving to communicate too completely and deeply?
My own feeling is no, never.
I’m thinking of D/s as a romantic relationship involving two bright people each with plenty of empathy.
For those just seeking play partners while I don’t think anyone might say that no important information shouldn’t be shared there would be a necessary limit. You wouldn’t want to know more than so much about someone you won’t become that involved with.
And I know there are people engaged in heavy M/s relationships where the dominant - not necessarily the most estimable ones - would find a flood of information from their submissive partner overwhelming.
Some dominants feeling it is “my way or the highway” suddenly find themselves alone. (The number of dom(mes) that find themselves involuntary single is surprising. Especially when they seem richly deserving of someone to live with.)
Can too much - offered with an open heart - be offered, conveyed?
No one in a “vanilla” relationship would ever say that. But in BDSM can too much ever be communicated?
Comments
This probably varies from couple to couple and depends on how much of a ‘listener’ the other is. Personally I think the more information volunteered (provided it’s not pressurizing the Domme with ‘wish lists’) the better.
Posted by: Alexandra | March 7, 2006 6:41 PM
Aside from people who just do play scenes and don’t have an emotional investment in the other I don’t think too much can ever be shared.
Pressuring with wish lists: that could be a sign – though I know exactly what you mean – that needs aren’t being met and if nothing else may be a sign that the relationship needs to change or end.
Posted by: Richard | March 8, 2006 6:28 PM