Sick : An Afterthought
» Emotional Health
There was a troubling scene in Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist.
As Bob Flanagan’s illness deepened he was no longer able to engage in BDSM with his partner.
The two of them are talking.
She’s upset, complaining that Bob is no longer willing to submit to her. That if he really loved her he would offer himself for her use.
Alexandra and I both had the same initial response was to find her complaint creepy, off-putting: how could she expect this as he was dying.
But reflection deepened out understanding.
Their relationship was a union of sadomasochism and romantic love. That BDSM is often as much love as kink is an aspect easily forgotten even by those who practice it. (And rarely understood by those for whom it is nothing but fantasies.)
She wasn’t just a selfish sadist. She was a woman who felt hurt and bewildered by the loss of the passion that had united them.
