State of Richard Update

Insomnia plagues me again. Last night I couldn’t get to bed until 4:00 a.m. It is as if someone has switched on the cerebral accelerator. My brain just whirls. But not about anything specific.

My insomnia last week was so bad that my arms started hurting. Without those nightly bursts of growth hormone the body can’t repair itself and starts to wear out.

My mood seems to be OK. There are things that distress me but I’m not brooding.

Some of it feels like suppressed lust. But I’m also feeling asexual (in a specific way that deserves an entry to itself).

I’m reading mysteries, a genre that with very few exceptions I’m not greatly fond of. But I lack the focus to read the more demanding books I have set aside (a few hundred of those, some have been waiting for many years).

I’ve added and put at the top of my Netflix queue television shows. Always a sign I’m looking for quantity of time consumed. Otherwise I’d been watching the recently reissued 1930s and 40s comedies (Myrna Loy - now there’s a woman to adore).

Aside from the lack of rest what distresses me most of all is that I’m no using my free time wisely. Don’t get me wrong: that hasn’t been one of my special virtues. But in this transitional period of my life I really need to.

I’m irked by this, not depressed.