Superhuman / Subhuman

It’s hard to imagine how people conduct all these different varieties of relationships. I don’t think you can make valid conclusions about what people want, or will do, or actually do, from what they write in ads or even on their blogs. There are so many details, caveats, limits, exceptions, and so on.

I am continually amazed how difficult these types of relationships are.

The problem is that many of these guys who place the ads really seem to think they can live this kind of thing.

In writing to them they mostly seem to ignore or wish away any suggestion that there’s more to it than being a subservient doormat.

Oh yeah, these are guys you’re actually talking too. Oops.

Maybe you could just not disabuse them of their hopes right at the start. Say (if you want), “Let’s try playing together and see what happens.” They’ll probably figure it out as they go along.

This is not a one-way street. Female submissives are sometimes guilty of the same sort of stupidity. The difference is that when this is perpetrated by women, it screams “self-worth problems” as it rightfully should most of the time, but for some reason this is not taken to mean the same thing when men do it.

All it means when men do it is that an industry can rise up to lessen the burden of carrying heavy wallets these men have. Does this mean exploitation is only okay when the exploited are the same as those with the most money?

They annoy the bejeezus out of me too. What pleasure is there in dominating someone who effectively just rolls over and says “kick me”? I’d prefer my submissive to have some pride and backbone. To be worthy of the effort I put into the relationship.

May,

When I first discovered the F/m subcultures I was pretty shocked by the difference in manner: the emphasis on being unworthy and the like.

I don’t doubt that submissive women are prone to similar behavior and thought. But I don’t look at their profiles much. Though the ones I do tent to mention wanting affection and respect far more than the ones by the guys.

As far as the commercial exploitation goes I suspect that women being more socialized to avoid porn has something to do with the discrepancy.

the person must think himself superhuman to believe he could endure anything like that.

One only needs to read some of the many comments on your own blogs from the wide range of guys who want discipline and punishment that would wear down a Marine. I never thought about that in the context of “training” but now the idea is fascinating. Do people really expect a 24/7 BDSM “personal trainer”?

I see this as a self-correcting problem, as the more unrealistic the fantasy, the less likely the guy posting it is going to actually attempt it, or get somebody to do it to them. And if the do, well, ever hear of the “Darwin Awards”?