Fetishes: B

From the checklist I sent Alexandra months ago, the letter B:

Balls (caged & leashed): yes.

I have to laugh. Now my response would be more like “Please, please +++.” Selfishness aside it is good for both of us to find triggers that may instantly slap me down into the slave state. Most people with a need to please and serve know that it isn’t always easy to cast off the everyday world and give yourself completely to someone. Finding the right keys isn’t greedy.

Balls (tortured): scrotum, yes. Testicles are hyper sensitive. Not that crushing doesn’t fascinate me in a slightly scary way.

What can I say. Part of me wants to be made to scream in the most awful way. Part of me says “Richard, don’t be crazy!” Should we explore that I’ll never be luckier in finding someone who is sadistic, observing and nurturing.

Bathroom use control Lifetime need to urinate frequently. Might take some finessing (bladder mild general concern with long term bondage). Probably learn to control it more. In extended fantasies I’ve thought of being left in a position where when I lose control I piss on myself.

I did? I don’t remember much about what I was confessing in the last sentence. OK, I do remember wondering what it would be like to bound almost upside down with tube leading from my penis to my mouth.

Bestiality: Can’t imagine how any of that could work in real life. Probably cruelty to animals.

In other words: no.

Being bitten: a nibble doesn’t have to be D/s. No chunks bit out.

That deserved a more eloquent response. Teeth are sexy. A sweet way to be made to whimper. Even outside of S&M there are times when a gentle moan is lovely.

Being bled: eh? Doubt it.

Possibly works on levels I don’t’ understand. But as just stated, no I don’t get it at all.

Being drugged: Interesting and spooky idea. Depends on drug, circumstances. (?)

Given the effect marijuana has on me there’s a good chance it could push me into deepest servitude. Possibly fear her. Not that I haven’t already. Fear, within sane limits, leaves a strong ecstatic afterglow. Though my mind might be too muddy to understand her, obey properly. Surely give bondage a boost.

Belts (being beaten): oh yeah.

My primal kink. I’ve wasted too many years wishing for the feel of leather slamming into my ass and thighs. All of my BDSM desires branch from this.

Blindfolds: yes.

She likes to see my eyes. Prudent and heartless. I crave both the diminished ability, the uncertainty. Enriches my helplessness. Strictly her call.

Bondage: Light, yes. Heavy, yes (snug but not cutting off circulation).

If I remember aright Alexandra felt true submission did not require external devices. It doesn’t. But the objective loss of freedom …

Bondage: Prolonged: may need training to left alone for long periods. (+)

The “+” is an expression of strong desire. It almost shocks me to find it here. The need for training; acquiring the ability to accept, endure more is real enough. I’ve certainly dreamt of this in some pretty nasty ways. Anymore my image is of myself in a box or facing a corner. My head cannot rise above the top of her boots which will have become the only part of the physical world I’m allowed to see.

Boot worship: For sure!

I smile at this. Even given my strong anticipation there was no way for me to really know how the chance to lick, kiss, grovel before her boots would become one of my deepest satisfactions. That we are so attuned is a blessing.

Breathe control: sounds scary. I have thought of an Owner’s hands at my throat but never actually tightening other than very lightly for just a second.

I don’t know if my mind could tolerate more but that image of her hands gently threatening my throat is exciting.

Bruises: bound to happen. Put some liniment in stock.

Do I wish I were beaten so brutally that I were bruised? Yes.

Do I think we should do it: honestly don’t know. Depends on what you mean by bruise.

Will I get hurt. Most likely. I know she’ll take care of me. We have an ample supply of first aid stuff.

Think of it as a contact sport.

Alexandra’s Fetish Alphabet: B