Bad Manners

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Folks like me - in this sense a non-writer who nonetheless writes publicly - appreciate it when a visitor leaves an insightful, empathetic or funny comment. The vanity of knowing you’ve given pleasure is beyond D/s.

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No popups. Nothing to pay. I do this for fun. Think of me as a one-man F/m Tumblr site.

I regularly look forward to a few of you who sometimes share advice and experience. And the simple pat on the back. Even the guys who tell lies or - more graciously - who tell stories pretending they are truth are welcome. I hope it gives them transitory relief.

To my surprise this site has received almost no unkind comments. On my older sites Neopagans, Fundamentalists, and an assortment of men who think they know the One True Somethingorother have denounced my opinions.

Fair enough. You enter public space you have to be ready for public responses of all sorts. Though the people who left comments on Sensual Sadist implying Alexandra is a black hearted witch did irk me.

I’m a happy tourist in the blogosphere. Since starting Down On My Knees my focus has been mostly on BDSM, particularly F/m weblogs.

Funnily I did get bitch slapped by someone for a comment I left on another weblog. The Domina who writes the weblog confessed displeasure with the behavior of what used to be called Mass Man. I shared my similar feelings. An anonymous coward all but called me a fascist. Having first heard something like that from my 10th grade history teacher it didn’t bother me.

It did seem bad manners to pollute her space with the diatribe. My comment had a link to this site.

Those things dovetailed in my mind with something I’ve noted on other F/m weblogs lately. The tendency of submissive men projecting their fantasies onto the writers.

This is exceptionally distasteful when the writer is a man trying to come to terms with problems in his marriage or romantic relationship.

Often - shades of Elise Sutton - the man is told he should let “Her” have her way with him no matter what the emotional cost.

This came to a boil on a weblog where I’ve been following a man who has found innocent chastity play going from tease and denial to his partner wanting to cheat on him. The guy is heartsick.

So an anonymous coward told him he should replace his chastity belt with a Lori’s Tube (permanent chastity device) and help her find lovers.

Pretty nasty thing to say to a man trying to determine if he has a relationship worth preserving.

Now I don’t care what sort of comment someone may leave here. It would have to be exceptionally despicable for me to delete it. But I think you should show the folks who share their lives online the same kindness and courtesy as you would talking to them in person.


Noticed your subtitle had changed; no more “part time”?

Just curious.

Mostly I just wanted the wording to reflect that I love Alexandra. And to note the gentle - pet - as well as the strict - slave - roles.

Partly it is from reading so many F/m blogs where the woman comes off as some domination machine. It presents too shallow an image. Take you for example: you tested a cattle rod on yourself because your former pet expressed a desire.

Even if we were to decide we wanted to do D/s full time it wouldn’t be possible with Alexandra spending more than half the year in another country.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Bad Manners. Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,


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