Cuckoldry

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Ah, cuckoldry: a benchmark among Femdom fantasies, sometimes realities. One well outside the range of this “humiliation bottom.”

Not that I can’t imagine being the slave of a drop dead gorgeous woman who would keep me chaste and force to watch her have sex with another man. But not if she were my lover, or even my friend. A cheating lover is an ex-lover. Even then it is a chilly fantasy far off in the outer reaches of those that I can’t really imagine wishing to live through.

But I value my friendship with one of the web’s most gifted cuckoldresses, Ms. MacComb. Once I asked her to explain the appeal of cuckolding to me. But I can’t remember where so I can’t quote her answer. Instead I’ll excerpt something she posted to the House of Kink’s College of Cuckold forum:

Female Supremacy: Men are the Slave Property of Women

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I (or any other cuckoldress) go out for dinner to a nice, quiet little restaurant. After selecting a nice bottle of wine, or an aperitif, I order a nice little appetizer (something round, square, deep fried with a dipping sauce, or spicy, unique) and then a Caesar salad. Following this I will have a perfectly cooked Filet Mignon, with all the trimmings. To top it off then a little something sweet for dessert or a cognac, coffee or whatever strikes my fancy. This is my lover. This is my lover’s skill, his body, his scent, aroma, his style and technique.

Now why after that lovely meal (meaning my date with my lover) would I then want to come home and have a shriveled up two day old, cold half a ham and cheese sandwich? That would be you (Simon, or whatever cuckoldresses husband).

Do you guys see the point? Do you see the comparison or analogy? You are our lifemates, the love of our lives, you provide something that our lovers never could and they provide something you can’t. You provide stability, a comfortable homelife, companionship, affection, certain unique services. You are like a favorite pair of slippers, bathrobe, the old reliable car. Our lovers are like high heels (new, expensive and exciting) a new dress and a brand new sports car.

Ms. MacComb is happily married.

She has a blog: Punished Cuckold Husbands*.

There are men who dream every night of this kind of betrayal. I don’t mean that word invidiously but that is what makes cuckolding transgressive and thrilling.

These guys are among those who wander the web competing to be “true submissives” (damnable term) lecturing married men – and women too – on the conduct of their “FLR.” This is one of the ways they feel that women should test men. And any man who disagrees with their gynarchic battiness isn’t a “true submissive.”

Funny what men who say they believe in a silly ideology like matriarchy because women are kind and nurturing want those warm-hearted ladies to do. You’d think domestic bliss was a downsized sort of fascist state.

Naturally they egg the woman on to put her husband in lifetime chastity or even have him castrated. But most women are loving and monogamous. I haven’t any idea what might flit through a woman’s dreams some nights but rarely do they really want to damage their husband.

Their frustrated passion sometimes leads these men to literature, which is why:

Most cuckolding blogs are fiction.

I even ran across one where the man admitted he’d just been presenting fiction as autobiography.

The cuckoldry saga generally progress to the dubious to absurdity. The sequence despite variations is fairly standardized.

Not that erotic fiction can’t be good fun. But if these tales make you feel that cuckolding is something you really wish to experience be wary. Some men have encouraged their wives to subject them to an experience with which they aren’t able to cope.

And the outcome of a kinky thrill is sometimes divorce court.

* Ms. MacComb also has a commercial site for men who enjoy:

… spanking, caning, strapping, switching, birching, hairbrush spanked bottoms, small penis humiliation, scolding, female dominance, submissive males, blue balls, tease and denial, husband training, discipline, punishment, cuckolding, creampies, cuckolded husbands, dominant wives or women, female superiority, slapped and spanked thighs, face sitting, oral worship or oral service …

I’m very chary of links to commercial sites. But she’s a fine woman and not a division of an anonymous adult entertainment company (this is not a link to her blog like above):

Punished Cuckold Husbands

Comments

Hi Richard,

Great analysis. In my marriage, I will do anything that my Mistress/Wife wants me to do for her, but cuckolding is far beyond my capabilities.

If that is something that she would truly want (and not just s fun thing to tease me with, for the effect it has on me), then she will have some work to do to get me there.

Fortunately, we are both too busy (and, I believe, too in love with each other) to go down that road.

There are a great many things in my list of perversions that should be left in fantasy… ;-)

Best regards,

Thomas.

I think women are inclined to seek other partners mostly when they aren’t happy emotionally with their husband / boyfriend. And are less inclined to be “unfaithful” - even to please him - if they are happy. (Current mores may be shifting a bit but I’m not a teenager.)

I remember looking at cuckolding forum once and the most popular topic was “How do I convince my wife to do this.” That says quite a bit.

Ms. Mlicious (aka Mistress Catwoman) has recently begun cuckolding me. I am younger and in better shape than her other slave, so she does not view me as the old slipper and him as something newer and more exciting. The idea of dating more than one man while demanding fidelity is very appealing to her. This other man made it clear he was attracted to her and mentioned that he was a good masseuse. In a very short time and with little effort, Ms. Mlicious has turned a very educated professional colleague into her ass licking, foot worshipping slave. She loves to place me in chastity while she goes out with this other man. While she enjoys dozens of orgasms brought on by his talented hands and mouth, I sit home in frustration. This is very difficult for me. But I gladly submit to it because of the incredible joy it brings to my Lady.

Once again Richard thank you for the very kind words. As usual you hit it right on the head (no pun). People should take what they read online with a grain of salt, question the veracity of those stories, claims, “data” and studies. There is much fiction presented as fact. I think cuckolding is just like any other fetish or alternative lifestyle element, beyond fantastic for those that live and love it, and barely comprehensible to the rest. I would add that more and more legit studies indicate that married women have affairs in the 50% rate. I am not advocating this as my ideals of cuckoldry are where the husband fully knows of his wife’s activites. Honesty is paramount. Still it does lend example of the actions and desires that Richard mentioned. :)

I have spoken with a great many self-declared “cuckolds”. I listen as they spin wild tales about their relationsips with their wives. and her lovers, and I think about the nature of self-delusion. I know that most of them are either single/divorced or in a relationship with a woman who would consider divorce before cuckoldry. The delusion is, of course, that their tales are plausible enough that I would actually believe them to be true.

A few years ago a female was seeing told me it was OK for us to be spending time together as my wife was having an affair with a friend of mine. I had no idea but we got over it. Now I have developed a very submissive attitude to my wife which I would like her to develop further. Does this make me a cuckold?

Late last year I was reading a cuckolding blog and feeling very sorry for the guy who seemed to have gotten way over his head. Then I realized I was reading little more than a remix of a story I’d seen a few times before and that he was making it all up.

Given how many men try to live their fantasies by writing of them as is they were really happening I was more than a little annoyed with myself for being taken in.

My wife and I have now been married for 31 years but almost 20 years ago she may have cuckolded me with my friend though she would not really admit it. I knew she was at this guy’s house so I banged on the door but got no reply. Days later she admitted they had heard me at the door and let me think that had prevented anything happening. Another time when she was angry with me she told me that I had been too late knocking on the door. So I don’t really know the truth and I don’t want to push it after all this time,

I’ve been reading some of the posts and one in particular didn’t like the fact that he was “taken in” by what he saw as fiction.

I must say that it is natural to be “taken in” because the fetish is something that most people are not familiar with. We are curious and yet we are revolted at the thought that a marriage or a relationship built over years can be supplanted because her lover is amply endowed and the husband is not.

Honestly, I enjoy reading cuckold stories because they are the new fetish. It’s not the tired, repetitive, garden-variety, vanilla fetish. Cuckoldry has elements of BD/SM, submission, IR, swapping, etc. all rolled into one fetish. In truth, I enjoy a great story, I guess because of the profane, taboo nature of a wife experiencing something extraordinary.

If this is the nature of some relationships then that is fine with me. But what I don’t understand is the breeding of children from this relationship.

If attempts are made to revive a failing, sagging marriage through known affairs is not enough that the wife has then to throw caution to the wind by insisting on the birth of a biracial child, then something is terribly wrong here.

I also agree that the cuckold fan mustn’t take the fiction of cuckolding seriously but everyone knows that there are breeding parties (an extension of cuckolding) that are created for the sole purpose of having a child.

I think I’d rather be the black man who seemingly has no responsibilities and gets to have his cake and eat it too, than be the poor white sap who takes care of children that no other person could/would care for because there is no obligation to care for them.

What would so-called “hotwives” say to their biracial children when they inevitably ask about their origins and what-not? Oh, I met your father(s) at a breeding party and you were created from this? Doesn’t the child deserve more than that?

Now, I want to be fair to the cuckolding community. I have gone on to say that I enjoy the highly arousing, sexually explicit stories; and if the couple needs this lifestyle then it is fine with me but what about the children? Do they know just how devastating such a revealation could be to a child who doesn’t know entirely where he/she came from? It’s hard enough on a person who is adopted, for example, to feel isolated and unwanted and such. Just imagine what a child born techincally out of wedlock must feel to find that he was a love child for all the wrong reasons!!!

No other fetish that I’m aware of would go to that length to create an environment of submission. Most fetishes would derail and implode if a child was created from it and yet the cuckold community seems to relish this difference. Shame on the community for such wanton carelessness.

Food for thought. Would the fetish be “broken” if the husband walked out of the relationship? I wonder what is the nature of the interest/attraction of cucking is for a man once children have been born? I’m not saying that the marriage would end but wouldn’t the idea of having unwanted/unplanned children shake the husband out of his reverie or fascination of cucking?

While I agree that much of what we read on the net is fantasy, I can say that I have experienced being cuckolded and love it! We are an older couple and have done some swinging. When we combined with Femdom, it was natural for Her to put limits on me while fulfilling Her desires. We have done some swinging where I was not allowed to cum but she enjoyed multiple orgasms.

She has also had men here at home that I was forced to watch while she had sex with them. She also satisfied her brother in law’s fantasy of having two women (Her and her sister) while I was forced to sit and watch, untouched.

Her sex drive has dropped with a decline in hormones but I still wish she was still active in enjoying other men while I was forced to watch.

I think generalizations are unhelpful. It is unremarkable that cuckolding stimulates lots of frothy internet fiction and attracts poseurs and frauds. But that is true of every element of human sexuality and is hardly unique to cuckolding.

I think cuckolding can be just as rewarding a practice on erotic, romantic, and relationship levels as just about any other BDSM/ Fm practice. If you think of cuckolding as “one way polyamory” that removes some of the negative connotations.

Indeed, maybe we need to limit the definition of “cuckolding” to situations where the “cheating” partner either (1) keeps her adventures secret from her partner and (2) proceeds with her affair over the objection of her partner. However, I understand, however, that in common usage “cuckolding” also includes situations where the cuckold is aware of and consents to his partner’s adventures. Is consensual cuckoldng really cheating”?

My wife cuckolds me, not because I am sexually or emotionally inadequate, but because she likes the sexual variety and the emotional/intellectual stimulation she gets from her lovers. She is profoundly grateful for my willingness to allow her her freedom without bouts of jealousy and recrimination and to forebear from entering into complicating affairs of my own.

I don’t drink her lovers’ cum, I don’t sit in the corner and watch her get ravished, and I don’t get verbally humilated through penis size comparisons and the like. What I get is a responsible woman who enjoys her sexual freedom and enjoys pushing my submissive buttons deftly and well.

A final note. Never say never when it comes to desire and relationships. By categorically saying that cuckolding is out of your bounds you may be unduly limiting the potential of you and your partner(s) to explore the boundaries of romance and relationship.

I do think that cuckoldry does inspire more fact presented as fantasy than just about anything else in Femdom unless it is sissyfication (hard to say since the two are often linked, at least in the fantasies people post).

Conflating polyamory with cuckolding is a crime against the English language. One of the reasons for citing my friend Ms. MacComb is because she and her husband practice consensual cuckoldry as a form of mutual sexual fulfillment. I regularly point men interested in the topic her way because she can be counted to talk about it knowledgably and sanely.

I’m not going to explore cuckoldry anymore than coprophilia.

My partner recently confessed to fantasizing about a man she regularly sees on her journey to work.

Instead of becoming jealous I felt somewhat excited and that she was opening up to me in a way she had not previously done.

I’d much rather be aware that she would enjoy sex with another man than find out some other way after the event.

And under the right circumstances I would accept her acting out the fantasy.

Whether or not this makes me submissive or a cuckold I’m not sure.

If my partner allowed me the same latitude and if the opportunity arose I’d be as tempted to experience another woman too. However my partner says she could not accept being in that sort of open relationship with me. I am happy to allow her veto and accept her reserving that choice for herself alone.

What am I ?

As someone who lives what could be called a “cuckold lifestyle,” I wanted to add my perspective to this thread. As tallchisub notes, the strict definition of cuckold is a man whose wife is having (or has had) extramarital relations behind his back. This does not quite describe the situation in the contemporary “cuckold” fetish scene, in which the husband is a knowing and willing accomplice to his wife’s activities. (Indeed, he is usually the original and chief advocate of the arrangement.) Actually, there is a word, almost as old as cuckold, to denote such a willing or “wise” (as in ‘wise to it,’ not ‘full of wisdom’) cuckold – “wittol.” The word is uncommon today, but is appears in English and US literature (see John Barth, for example) as recently as mid-century.

That people into this fetish have come to use cuckold may reflect a dearth of good dictionaries among enthusiasts, but it more likely has to do with the connotations of coercion and betrayal that go hand in hand with cuckold fantasies. I agree with Richard that polyamoury is not quite the same as cuckolding or, for that matter, swinging. Any particular couple’s arrangements might include more than one of these things, but cuckolding can be distinguished by the inherent submission / humiliation aspect. If someone just gets off on voyeurism, or on group-sex or threesomes, etc., they are not really indulging in cuckolding as the phrase is used in fetish circles. To be cuckolding, the relationship has to include some form of emasculation of the male. It could be relatively tame, quite subtle, and strictly psychological – but if there is no edge of this sort it cannot really be considered fetish cuckolding.

Of course, sometimes fetish cuckolding is not tame, or subtle, or confined to the mind. Like all accounts of sexual exploits (and all web writing or any kind), there can be little doubt that most of reported “real” experiences are wholly fiction and the vast majority of the rest fantastic elaborations and wishful exaggerations of a less exciting factual record. (Fish stories have nothing on anonymous sexual confessions.) And while I hesitate to say that there has never been a “breeding party,” and I feel sure that cases of extramarital impregnation in cuckold marriages do exist, I think we can safely say that they are far, far rarer than the Internet would lead us to believe. Sexual fantasy works like all forms of escape – the devotees imaginings becoming ever more extreme as older thoughts lose their novelty and/or shock value. With masochist sexual fantasies (including cuckolding) imagined situations tend to become more severe and permanent, with greater personal consequences (public exposure at work, to family, etc.) and irreversible transformations (tattooing, body modification, slave contracts, permanent chastity, etc.)

Fantasies about having another man impregnate your wife fall into this pattern. They touch on powerful embedded social notions about masculinity, gender roles, and the “sanctity of marriage.” Such an act is irreversible. You can’t just shower, buy some new clothes, and move on. The interracial component so frequent in this fantasy may be partly about outmoded taboos against miscegenation and related racist caricatures of the sexual prowess of the “more animal races.” They are certainly about the continuing class distinctions and inequities in modern society. But they are also surely about the undeniable public evidence of the husband’s cuckolding. You can’t plausibly claim the baby is yours as you might if the father was from the same ethnic background.

No doubt, such babies have sometimes been born in real life into cuckolded relationships. Such an action is certainly extreme, but there is no reason to assume that the couple is being particularly thoughtless or irresponsible in making such a decision. Many (if not most) babies are born for some of the most selfish, shallow, and poorly thought out reasons imaginable. Interracial children will likely face special challenges, and there are quirks to families in which only one parent is biological. But such things happen everyday in millions of families where no cuckolding fetish is involved. There is no reason to think that these children, presumably as ignorant of the adult issues of their parents’ sexual habits as any other child, will be in someway especially handicapped in the world.

My wife does not plan to have children with another man. But we do engage in the cuckolding fetish, for real, in our marriage. (We also engage in other, related, fetishes.) We are quite happy, very normal, very respectable middle-class citizens involved in our community. We love each other immensely. Also, I haven’t had sex with her (or anyone else) for five years now. (And I can count on one hand how many times I’ve penetrated her in the last eight.) She, on the other hand has had a series of lovers and adventures. This arrangement isn’t for everyone. The relationship needs to be strongly grounded in a foundation of trust, honest communication, and real intimacy. We took an amazingly strong conventional relationship and adapted it to suit our needs and personalities better. If you are in a relationship where you have secrets from each other, or play roles with each other to get through the day, or don’t really know yourself and each other at the core; you should proceed with real caution.

I have no idea when cuckoldry as a fetish became visible. It is a key part of Venus in Furs. My - very dim - memory of Restoration comedies is that the cuckolded husband was often portrayed as a pathetic creature to be mocked. So I’ve never thought twice about the use in the context of voluntary “cheating.”

I can’t add anything to your comment, one of the finest that anyone has left here. Thank you.

As a husband who has just now after 24 years married to the same woman, discovered an intense interest in cuckoldry. I am trying my best to submit to my ‘Superior wife’ and am very interested in watching her get fucked by a man with a much bigger dick than I have. Whether she ever comes to the point where she seeks out a lover, I don’t know. She already displays a strong desire to have me in a chastity device, and will order one soon, I’m sure. As far as my attitude, I think cuckolding will add self-confidence for her and will take our relationship in a new exciting direction

To me it appears that cuckolds are really the expression of a personality mixture of masochism and bisexuality with a woman fronting for a man who vicariously satisfies his homosexualy in a hidden way through his wife. Whatever she does he does through her and she is the agent by which he gains satisfaction with few in the outside world ever learning of his outwardly subservient role or his perverse sexuality.

my wife has cuckolded me twice, both times, with my encouragement.I must say both of us loved it.I was not present, but she told me all the details and I still think about it when I masturbate and , also, we talk about it when we make love. 2 results of being cuckolded,are,feeling very submissive and a feeling of inferiority to the guys. (I love that) ,

And you call yourselfes man? hah . You are shadows of a man .

My Mistress Wife and I have been involved in cuckoldry and related BDSM lifestyles for over ten years now. We have been married for fourteen years. We share three happy children. Our relationship has progressed over the years and I am happy to report that we are more intimate and in love with each other every year. She does not allow me to have any orgasm at all as I am chastised but I am commanded to serve her and some but not all of her partners both personally and sexually. Becoming a cuckold to my Mistress is a daily religious rite I observe. We view Cuckolddry as an acceptable and rewarding choice of lifestyle.

Hi, I am anil from India having CG habit since my childhood when I was ten. The habit reached its peak when I became twenty and joined the job. One Sunday, I had a strong urge to wear bra. I went outside to purchase it. The person selling asked me the size. I did not want him to know that I wanted it for myself so I told him approx. my size. He measured my size and it was 32” then. I became very thrilled but shy. I purchased the one and went to the garden where hardly any person would come. I immediately removed my shirt and put it on and felt very thrilling but very shy. I used to do it every Sunday. One Sunday, wearing bra and silver anklets in my legs, when I saw a man piercing nose/ears, I had a strong urge to get my nose pierced. I asked him to do so when he was alone. First of all he laughed me but then he noticed silver anklets in my legs. He asked me if he should ‘lock’ the ring. Not knowing the meaning and also feeling very shy from within and wishing to run away as quickly as possible, I said yes. He then pierced my nose and showed it in the mirror. He said that when I was a gal, I should have come in female dress. Then I went away from there and went to the leady selling glass bangles. I asked her to put on two dozen bangles each on my both hands. First she was confused and amused but soon she realised and then she asked me to raise my hands one by one. When I removed my one hand from my nose, she could notice that my nose was pierced. I felt very shy but quite helpless. When she started putting glass bangles on my two hands, suddenly two/three females came from somewhere. They noticed the scene and enjoyed it very much. But I was helpless.

I immediately ran away from there and went to the garden where very few people used to come. I kept sitting there in quite sensation for around half an hour. After my sensation was over, I tried to remove the ring pierced in my nose. Surprisingly, I failed in doing so and was very much afraid. I was just thinking what to do. I now realised the meaning of ‘locking’ so that the ring would have to be cut and could not be taken out of nose automatically. I was in jeopardy thinking what to do.

Suddenly from riverbed side four punks (who were residing in huts there) came to the garden and noticed me. They were quite happy noticing me in such a situation. They compelled me to go with them. One of the punks removed my shirt and noticed that I was wearing bra. They had instant client in me. They then put on a transparent blouse with hooks on the back side in place of the shirt I was wearing. They put on Ghaghra also and then a brand new saree. I was looking like a bride. The punks also removed the soft weight silver anklets which I was wearing in my legs. Instead, they put on heavy weight anklets which would make a lot of noise when I would walk. They also applied henna on my hands and legs. Then They took me in an auto-rikshaw from there to a place where they were having their customers. One of the inunchs started playing with the ring pierced in my nose. He also touched the bra. Then they handed me over to one of the customers by telling that I would give utmost satisfaction to him. He then took me to the hut of the punk and started playing with me. He carrassed my tits through bra. He opened my bra and pushed my nipples also. He played with the nose ring worn by me. He also shook my hands resulting in sweet sound of glass bangles. This all excited me very much. I felt so shy and helpless as I was only responsible for such a situation. The man played with me for more than three hours. He expressed his utmost satisfaction and joy. After being completely satisfied, he went away from there saying that he shall regularly come to me. I felt very shy and like a bride but my heart was throbbing with joy. The punks then enjoyed for a new member joined with them. I was so exhausted that I remained lying on the bed with all female clothes. The punks bound my ankles with a chain attached to the to the tree so that I could not escape from there. I could not sleep for the whole night and had dreams of being fucked.

The other day after exciting me by play, they invited another customer, who was quite tall and strong. He was very much excited to see me. He lay himself on my body and pushed his ass in my mouth. He then started playing my nipples under the bra which I was wearing. After sometime, I got aroused and excited. I sucked his ass for an hour. After being completely satisfied, he went away from there.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Cuckoldry. Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard

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