Female Masters (as it were)
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A few times I’ve read blogs by women (or their partner) who call themselves Master or Sir. This has always intrigued me. Were they seeking to evade stereotypes? Was it some linguistic appropriation of “male power” like a strap-on? Or good-natured genderfuck.
I’d ask but never get an answer. Until Darren who writes Art Through Service kindly replied:
“Not Mistress” she said. “Reminds me of someone you cheat on your wife with.”
“How about Ma’am?” I asked.
“Too formal and distant” said Sir. “How about Miss, I’ve been comfortable with Miss in the past.”
“Doesn’t feel right” I replied. Then, with a shit-eating grin on my face I said jokingly “how about Sir?”
She laughed at that one. “Oh well, we’ll think of something.”
But for some reason, “Sir” stuck. It felt warm and intimate, while at the same time genderless. In our play and day to day lives, we cross the boundaries of gender so many times the line becomes a blur. For whatever reason, it suits us. Sir still occasionally responds with other prospective submissives, and to them she is always “Miss”. But she is now and ever will be my Sir.
Comments
Well, “Miss” certainly doesn’t work for me. (“Ms. {first name} might. I belonged to a UK-based email group that used that convention.)
My current pet tried addressing me as “Miss R*” when we first met, and all I could think of was the plant operators I worked with in TN, very few of whom were comfortable calling me anything else, even after I asked them to.
I suppose that was a status thing as I was technically management…
Posted by: R | August 24, 2006 7:39 PM
Growing up “Miss” was any young women who wasn’t known to me. Can’t really think of it as a title.
Aspirant was the first person I noticed addressing a female dominant as Master. It really resonated with me. Never quite sorted out why.
Anymore I can’t really think of a particular title that would matter to me. Whatever she liked. Even just her name carefully spoken in respect and perhaps a slight inclination of my head would have plenty of power.
Posted by: Richard | August 25, 2006 2:07 PM
People in the BDSM lifestyle never were known for following the norms of society. I think this is no exception. Sir or Ma’am, Mistress or Master, they are just words, and whatever appeals most to you and your significant other should be used.
Posted by: Jack Crowley | August 30, 2006 10:47 AM