Femdom : Do It For Fun!
» F/m Weblogs
If you make a revolution, make it for fun,
don’t make it in ghastly seriousness,
don’t do it in deadly earnest,
do it for fun.
- D.H. Lawrence
It has been enjoyable to watch the growth of blogs by women and men who write about female domination and sadism and male masochism and submissiveness.
Where once there seemed to be but three now there are dozens. Not all last. Some have proven to be just fakes.
If you can find Femdom politics in this your mind works in a damned odd way.
In the earliest period of the Femdom blog big bang it seemed as if far too many men had read a book or two, particularly one very bad book. A bad book that reminds me a bit of the mechanics of McCarthyism: assert something baldy and there are always those who will believe. Not to mention that standby of political manipulation, the unattributed source: quote people whose statements supposedly substantiate your point of view. Not to mention the cult of the expert. Anyone can seem to possess expertise by claiming a degree. Toss in some technical terms and ordinary folk - but not qualified scholars - will assume you know what you are talking about. Self-help writers have been milking these strategies for years.
The bad thing about the bad books is they lead people - ok, men - into foolish beliefs and expectations. People look for guidance, paradigms, structures. Understandable. But once led down a blind alley finding your way back to the light isn’t easy. And the delusion that you’ve discovered a truth leads to that unhappy impulse: the desire to convert others.
Some of these bloggers remind me of those dreadful people who hand out leaflets promising eternal salvation at bus stops.
Sadly taking - for example - a gospel of female superiority to your wife who has long thought she was married to a man who is her equal is more likely to lead you to separate bedrooms if not divorce court. And how sad it must seem to a poor wife to find her husband preaching domestic politics. Poor fool, were he only to tell her he’d found a new way to have fun.
Women do like to have a good time. Is that why men are said to have a problem understanding them?
My impression is that women enjoy sensuality. Men you’d think do as well.
Happily I seem to see more and more blogs exploring erotic pleasure in female dominance and male submission that are breaking free of these shackles. Or were never bound by them.
They don’t see a master plan. Envision getting kink into their sex life as a blueprint for utopian schemes. The guys just want to be happy. Talk to your wife or girlfriend about happiness and not ideology: she’s apt to be keener on the former than wanting to listen to nonsense about the latter.
Beg for your beatings, whimper to lick her boots, grovel in your chastity. For fun.
Earlier, possibly relevant:
- Who Will Be America’s Truest Submissive
- A Lifestyle Created By Us
- 10 Quotes About Labels in BDSM
- 10 Best Things About BDSM
- Your True Way
See also Ludic BDSM.
Comments
Richard, i am always amazed at the effort you put into your blog and i for one appreciate it. i like your comments about the “experts”, i have never really appreciated those who stridently broadcast their views as if any other opinions must be wrong. i like the varied way you present and leave it to the reader to form their own opinion. Long may you continue.
Posted by: jssubc | January 15, 2007 8:33 PM
Richard, in the last week I have discovered at least a half dozen kink-oriented blogs by women. All are in the WordPress community, which is nice to see. And one of them emailed to tell me that my own blog was one of the reasons that she decided to begin her own.
Interestingly, none of them really fit the “femdom” mold, at least, not in the sense of how the bad books, etc., would have one think. Some tell stories, some tell of their insecurities, some seem to even out-kink the mold. I linked them, and look forward to reading more of their stuff.
Tom The Edge of Vanilla
Posted by: Tom Allen | January 15, 2007 10:11 PM
Wonderful thoughts, Richard. This is the ultimate motivation for why we do what we do- we enjoy it. There are definitely too many people who try to turn femdom into some sociopolitical “solution”, and there are those, like us, who do it for fun. Yet we’re sometimes looked down on by those folks as being less “pure”, or “just playing games”. I see no reason for that kind of elitist attitude.
Posted by: roo-roo | January 16, 2007 10:30 AM
Many of the WP F/m blogs I’ve run across are the money Dommes. I do check your blog roll.
Posted by: Richard | January 16, 2007 6:24 PM
Yes, the “money dommes” and the semi-professionals have blogs that look, well, bloggy until you read a few posts. I’ve been becoming a bit more choosy about who I’m listing on my blogroll.
Tom The Edge of Vanilla
Posted by: Tom Allen | January 16, 2007 10:21 PM
Cheers to your site Richard. I agree with the other posters here….long may it live. I have for many years waited to find “intelligent life” on this delicious D/s and BDSM earth overshadowed on cloudy days by vanilla clouds.
Posted by: Mistress Gurliegoil | January 29, 2007 10:53 AM
Many have there own way of dominating their slaves, as long as the domme and the slave is happy, I don’t think anything matters. I remember I thought about leaving the money domme theme but when slaves started flocking to me, paying me thousands of dollars just to say “pay it Boy” whod stop. I wanted to post my blog about a few of my experiences and beliefs in female domination but, My blog turned into a money blog as slaves even beg for me to humiliate them. They paid more cash to announce and broadcast that they paid their life saving to me. Female Supremacy does this and I dont even try, I am just a woman like many.
Posted by: Femdom Princess | February 12, 2007 12:35 PM
Brand new here. Came across this site by typing in a few keywords on the net. Wife and I are in our mid forties, great relationship.
We usually give each other oral prior to intercourse. About 3 months ago while I was giving her oral I reached down and began fondling myself to get harder for penetration, and I was laying in such a way as she saw me doing this. She said ‘oh that’s hot’. And she is not the type to express herself much verbally about sex.
Since our sex life is in much need of variety, I have been willing to try anything lately to jump start it. So, I did this oral/fondling myself combination several more times since, and she has liked it just as much as the first time. Once while doing this I failed to stop in time, and ejaculated. And her reaction this time was much more intense.
A little later I told her sorry I did not hold off for you, so you could orgasm. She said that was just as satisfying as if she had orgasmed. I was really surprised ! I asked how so ? She said ‘I don’t know, it is different with women. It made me feel special/pampered/powerful.’ I asked powerful ? She did not elaborate.
Not sure as to what I am on to. But since we started this her libido has increased dramatically and mine because of hers. She would never suggest this kind of variety, but she apparently does like something about it. I just cannot put my finger on it. I want to keep it going. I never thought I would like this kind of thing, but since it turns her on, it turns me on.
I read a little bit of this site, and most is too much to try with her. But if something is very subtle and gradual, it may add to our discovery.
Very interested in ideas or suggestions. Looking forward to hearing from you guys.
Posted by: Mike | March 11, 2008 5:01 PM