Infantile, Impotent, Spineless, Inferior (O! Those Pink Blogs!)

“I’m sorry your favorite celebrity probably doesn’t harbor a covert wish for a ‘submale.’”

Does this mean I have to stop sending 15 letters a day to Nicole Kidman? She wants me, I know it. She’s just playing hard to get, with the restraining orders and all.

One aspect of these types of bloggers that really irritates me is how they look down on the rest of us who don’t “do” bdsm the same way…….like our way is somehow less valid, less noble.

That fellatio has no place in a female-dominant relationship is laughable at best.

The all-or-nothing approach that these people take toward bdsm is sickening. If they want to live that way, they have that right, but it’s nothing more than elitist one-upmanship when they play subbier-than-thou.

In a way, I pity them; for them, it seems bdsm has become more about blindly following rules and less about having fun.

That “the domme is always right” idea is just plain bullshit. Dommes are people, with flaws and weaknesses, and they make mistakes and dumb decisions just like anyone else.

I like what you said about their approach fostering helplessness rather than submission. Yes, being helpless in certain situations can be fun…….but when it comes to life skills and financial matters, we’re all ultimately responsible for our own lives.

People who talk of ‘true submission’ annoy the hell out of me. You can’t compare people like they were sticks, seeing which is longer. There is a lot of context involved and this changes the nature/quality of the submission.

To a point, more and more and more is /not/ more.

[I’m just rambling while I talk to my parents on AIM. Did any of that sound reasonable?]

Let’s see how intelligently I can pull this comment together.

I despise (as you know) the horseshit philosophies going around that proclaim dominant means superior (male or female). I actually find matriarchy misogynist, just a replacement for the plastic Mastercard Dominatrix…the new model doesn’t even charge, she’s conveniently located in a kitchen near you.

Having said that, it’s my nature to allow for individual differences. There have to be some sweet, meek men who are just desperate to not have to take responsibility in their lives and some kind, strong women who might be their matches? Individual choices are just that - no right or wrong or trying to convert somebody else to your way…just what works for you and your mate and God bless.

I think the more real people talk about this, the faster The Philosophy (ies) will lose their power. I fret when I see people (men mostly) chasing something that just isn’t there (and never was).

E

“Pink blogs.”

Heh heh - I just got that. Yeah, what’s up with that? Why do all those LFA/FLR blogs seem to be hard-on-the-eyes pink?

Elizabeth,

I hope I never seem to be ignoring diversity of needs. I don’t see anything wrong with men wanting stronger partners (many gay men do as well).

But men who coach themselves into believing “She is never wrong” and fostering a pervasive sort of self disempowerment disturb me.

Frankly, some of the stuff that appears on these blogs is very hot (the hostility to fellatio part, for example..very cool though not everybody’s kink).

Frankly, I doubt how much of the 24/7-ish nature of these relationships is real — these sound a lot like an extreme bdsm novel than a real human relationship. Fun to roleplay, but live? Doubting it.

They have some great ideas (as does your site). Just leave behind the bullshit politics and anthropology. Sutton’s site is great if you just follow that rule.

Hi Richard, i don’t tell you enough how much i enjoy your writing. (i like the larger print too.) i just wanted to say, as always i find you articulate and thoughtful in your statements. thank you for the read. chance

Where in gawd’s name are these supposedly femdom blogs? All I can find among the LFA pink blogs are endless descriptions of vanilla marriages.

It’s a game. Why play Bridge? Do you think it get’s you anywhere? Why wear clothes? Surely you can form an opinion that, save for protecting one from the elements, they are a waste of money. Why walk a tightrope that is high in the air? One slip and you’d be dead, dead, dead. Where’s the fun in that? Or, why kiss on the mouth? Don’t you know it spreads germs? //

Who cares which/or if one partner is really dominant? Would it ruin the movie for you to learn that the characters are only actors? //

You see worlds that do not exist and think them not worth attempting. Others say, Why not? Especially if it is fun. //

To successfully create a world of true dependence upon another is a risk. In spite of your opinion, it just might be possible, and subs are people who find thrills in such possibilities. //

Sex is the oldest and most studied game of all time, and no one understands all of the apparently infinite myriad of variations there are to play. //

However, there will also always be self-appointed thought police crashing every party, eagerly fleshing-out any kids who might be getting it on in a dark corner. Armed with their flashlights of superior personal opinion, they are eager to enlighten the foolish unlearned as to the irrationality their actions.

Religion offers numerous views of worlds that don’t exist. Does this mean I can’t have an opinion about religion?

Do you even actually know anything about the very specific topic addressed in this entry?

Why do you see having an opinion as a police action? Do you have no opinions? Obviously you do.

Do you understand that many of the people who left comments actually practice BDSM? That it isn’t just something that they wank to?

Is your comment more than the expression of your own sexual frustration?

I once sat in a Barnes & Noble and covertly read “The Surrendered Wife.” I wanted to know what it was about. In the end, I found it to be just the same princess fantasy dressed up for modern times.

Your husband will run everything and you’ll support him. You do what he says and he has to always take care of you. Sure, you’re valuable, but men only love you if you let them make all the decisions so they can feel trusted and secure in their masculinity. Then you can be pampered and spoiled and secure and all that.

Yuck.

I don’t like it any better when men want it. It feels like a way to justify and cover something that is really an erotic fantasy and not a healthy way to live. I’m all for the erotic fantasy part, and I don’t mind power exchange. But let’s please not pretend it’s about which gender should be making decisions, or the infallibility of the dominant partner, or something “natural” to everyone. Take responsibility for your own erotic desires and your life.

One of the many bad things about gender superiority fantasies is that it instantly invalidates the relationships of people with different needs for power exchange.

Or all same sex relationships. Try talking to gay men and women about female supremacy.