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If you visit D/s sites or have one yourself these guys are all too common.

They want to be a “true” slave to a woman. Any woman, say, DommeBot Model X17-R.

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That is any woman who will create the man’s fantasy down to the last jot and tittle.

For some reason these guys generally crave two things: hardcore orgasm denial (often never being allowed to have an orgasm ever) and sissyfication. After all what could be more degrading than being forced to resemble a female?

Their attention to detail can be staggering. I recall one fellow who knew exactly what color of dress she’d “make” him wear but also the direction from which the air current would cause the skirt to rustle.

Tom has a good post on the Do/me subs of the Land of Chastity:

I confess that after seeing this for several years, I’m still amazed that men write to these web groups professing their indiscriminating desire for a woman - apparently any woman - who will keep them permanently “locked up (the vernacular in the Chastity community for being kept in a device), and “forced” to dress in women’s clothes, to be a “sissy maid”, to have them take other lovers, and to be humiliated in dozens of other ways that would surely end a more “normal” relationship in a New York minute. Generally I avoid comment - there’s an unspoken rule in the kink world that one does not jump all over another person’s kink, no matter how distasteful it may be to you.



I always wonder how successful this “technique” is. My guess would be almost never. Yet, so many persist in trying the same thing over and over, expecting different results…

Probably about as successful as emailing phallus photos.

What makes it even sadder is that there are dominant women who want a loving submissive partner and all these men do is diminish those women’s sense of hope and deepen their cynicism.

I’m almost worried that, based on the sheer number who try this, that it is successful.


Really, though, it’s the idea that some of the subs will sub to any woman that will look at them with a sneer.

I think its more of a desperation. These men are hoping beyond any rational belief that they will find this mystery, fantasy woman that will “force” them to do exactly what they want to … because of course once they’re “forced” then they are separate from the act somehow. Its no long their doing, but an act they were subjected to.

I believe that a lot of this need for separation is for men who have trouble facing their bisexual or other taboo desires. For instance, if a man is “forced” by his Mistress to don feminine attire and then take it from behind by some man for HER satisfaction, then he’s simply doing what he’s been told.

Its not his needs that are driving the situation. Which of course, in my opinion is rather cowardly.

If you want to dress in women’s clothing, dress in women’s clothing. If you want to play around with other men, work it out. But playing it off on a woman, any woman, that happens to profess herself as a Domme is just ridiculous.

Bisexuality, transvestism, prostate stimulation are things that some men can enjoy only through the pretend involunariness of D/s.

I think that is good since it must abate much frustration. But don’t much like it when men falsify this.

Perhaps it is having these kinds of needs but lacking the interpersonal skills to meet someone who will help them explore them is the cause of the half-mad comments some of these people post all over BDSM forums and blogs.

One thing you can say for certain: the guys who do this are REAL losers!

They are the kind of faux subs who ddo deserve rejection — not loving domination — from any self-respecting (and aren’t They all!) Domina or Mistress.

I don’t agree with the idea that all mens who ask for thoses things (wear women clothes, being take by a man) is to separate ourselves of the act or having a trouble facing it…in my case, i clearly know it is me who like thoses things…but i like to be accepted that way by my partner…by then, it’s just a roleplay…

No one is saying everybody is ashamed of these desires. But many men are: cultural conditioning.

And those who are ashamed and don’t have an outlet find themselves in very self-destructive emotional states.

As a gentlemen who’s interested in these activities (crossdressing/transvestite fantasies) I think it’s more a way to escape some of the guilt and self-loathing that can come about when going ‘en-femme’, caused mostly by social conditioning.

Although I do agree with most here in that these types of snivelling, desperate subs are quite pathetic. We are submissive but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t discard our sense of self-respect!

We are submissive but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t discard our sense of self-respect!

That is about the best comment on this subject I’ve heard. Great response!

The Tao of Me

As a submissive male, I have in the past attempted to find a female partner using such sites. I found that there is much suspicion on both sides. There are ‘flakes’ on both sides. Men who want to be dominant in the sense that they want the women to do exactly what they want to them, and women who just seek to abuse the sub financially. People get what they deserve I guess. Either way, the above examples have no respect for each other. It must be quite an empty encounter/relationship. First and foremost, it should be about trust, mutual respect, and affection. to lose respect for yourself or your partner is a very sad state of affairs.

Well, let me just say it’s because to some of us, the fetish/fantasy is inescapably arousing, and, as we all know men, whether into the scene or not, are not all that bright when it comes to establishing relationships.

There is a flip side to all this - many so-called dominant women turn out to be “pleasing” dommes - they see their partner’s fetish and agree to cater to it, in the guise of dominance. It turns out, of course, that they’re just acting - and the act gets tired to them. Suddenly, the woman who was so into it (whatever “it” was) thinks it’s a burden…distasteful, or worse. Yikes. And I’m including in that group women who’ve actually met me while in a TG club, with me dressed oh so appropriately for the venue. As in, in slutwear that would make most vanilla women blush, even if they were in their bedrooms with their husbands.

The bottom line is to just be honest about your desires. If you’re not into taking the dominant role in a relationship with me, and if you’re not into me wearing lingerie over my utterly sissified body while I suck whatever it is that you put in front of me, well, we’re probably not going to be a perfect match. But that’s OK, too.

Well, you all have made up your minds: Men are pigs. Anyone into chastity and forced-fem is a pathetic putz. He should adopt a mistress’s rent and other bills and quietly go somewhere and die,

right? I’d argue that chastity and transvestism are bona-fide fetishes, but I’d be pissing into the wind. Even if the wind is just hot air. I welcome your scorn.

Given that there are over a thousand entries here, some of which discuss different aspects of orgasm denial and transgendered persons the only thing for me to scorn is your superficial reading and thinking habits.

I am 52 years Old man and I am completely control in my Daughter in Law which has left my step son. She spanks me daily and I am slut slave her.I wears her Panty and do all the whole work for her.I really enjoy to be spanked by her.She spanks me even in front f her younger sister.

Few days back my daughter in law , her sister and her two friends spanked me severely . They also gang baged me but in last my daughter in law allowed me to suck her milk which really thrilled me. I am really happy father in Law completely in charge of my Daughter in law. She treats me like her slave . I do all her house hold work and also look after her child (one child is from me).But her sister also has got the permission to spank me. John Mathew

I don’t see what the fuss is about. Many men get off on the idea of being “pathetic losers” and many women enjoy exploiting this fetish. So the relationship might be “empty” and “not loving”. If that’s what both parties agree they want who is anybody here to say they should not be able to have it. Are you the “sub police” to mandate the degree of self-respect a sub must maintain. Many dommes advertise that they will strip the sub of any last vestige of self-respect - and many subs find this exceptionaly hot. If it’s not your kink, just don’t play!


In response to Richards post, I have known a few men and woman who act in the manner described. This behavior has been a result of lack of r/l groups in their area, real fear of an actual encounter: anxiety that their deep masturbation fantasies are in fact so far outside the realm of r/l that they will be disappointed (rather than vindicated or exposed to new areas of fantasy to explore) and,personality characteristics which make being someones slave/sub/bottom impossible ( a lack of autonomy, introspection and, self-esteem.) Some of this behavior is release of shame, guilt ect. and some of it is just to see how far they can get by pushing someone into setting down limits with them. Partner availability is also an issue( remember that male Dom’s still out number female Dom’s by a long shot) In any case, it is sad that these men will not get their needs met in a constructive and healthy manner because they will not have the chance to learn what healthy and constructive means in a r/l relationship. They deserve compassion but, not respect.

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