Negative Comments on Femdom Blogs

I greatly deplored the remarks left on Candace’s abolished blog. Felt sour annoyance with the men who clearly go out of their way to annoy my kind friend Lady Julia. But while sympathetic I know that anyone who writes publicly is in a trivial way a public figure. And we may suddenly find ourselves feeling like a liberal politician confronted by Bill O’Reilly.

How miserable does your own life have to be, how small minded are you, and how insecure in your personhood do you have to be in order to act in such a way?
- Tom Allen

Within the sphere of blogs about female dominance there are at least four subspecies of comment pest who may come your way.

There are the fakes looking for a shoulder to cry on. Really they are seeking the thrill of telling someone a fantasy and having it believed. These guys have the dominant wife, girlfriend, Mistress who is lost in selfish cruelty. She’s abusive. (Mysteriously she’s often quite the hottie, which - naturally! - makes him adore her yet more.) Really she’s in the kitchen preparing dinner while he types lies to you. Don’t waste your sympathy.

I have disabled my comments feature permanently. Someone who thought I should be “real” and write of S&M torture instead of butterflies left a comment. [Subsequently commenting was enabled again.]
- Suewearsthepants

Those sad old “true submissives” who are mostly lonely men wanting your blog to become their pornography. Kind ladies - women are always more subject to verbal invasion online than men - don’t waste your fingers typing remonstrance. Just delete the comment. He isn’t interested in you or your lover. For the unattached masochist your blog is the verbal equivalent of a skin magazine centerfold. And his comments are little more than letters to the editor asking why the models don’t have bigger boobs or can they please show more redheads.

Less offensive are some of the one true way guys. Many of them are in female led relationships of a certain type who make the assumption that emulating his “lifestyle” will make your own more authentic and satisfying. You can point him to the definition of pluralism, ignore him or delete the comment.

They don’t care about the opinions or feelings of others because it’s their “right” to behave as they do. Still others never moved past that emotional age in which little boys with crushes hit the little girls who were the objects of their devotion.
- Lady Julia

And there are the trolls. This sense of the word comes from usenet, a part of the internet older than the web. Long before there were blogs they’d wander into discussion groups with one purpose: to disrupt the conversation and attract attention. They are angry and demanding. Their atrocious spelling and grammar is a post or an effect of drunkenness if not both combined. Never reply to them. Any response will cheer their dirty little hearts. If you ignore them and delete the comment they’ll go elsewhere looking for someone who will give them attention.

As some of you know I have quite a number of blogs (probably more than any of you guess). I always moderate comments. No one’s remarks appear on any of my sites until I’ve read them. I’d rather not have to spend the time but I accept it as part of the chore of maintaining the sites.

Mostly I do publish the stupid abusive comments. Not that I get many anymore. If they pass some invisible threshold in my mind I delete them.

My advice: delete them; ignore them. If you don’t give them the satisfaction of a response they will seek other targets.

No relax and take a deep breath: “Ignore. Delete.”

Don’t waste time and energy you could spend teasing your lover.