Distinguishing Degradation from Humiliation

» Humbling

I’m hard to humiliate. This isn’t a boast.

Humiliation requires shame, at least to my sense of the term. That I wound up without much regard to the norms that cause most people to feel shame wasn’t something I worked at. It is a fact of who I am like being slightly over 6’3”.

Verbal violence because it can cause my ego to simply whither if not exactly humiliating certainly evokes something so parallel that the distinction seems irrelevant. (And Alexandra knows one word - she’s never used it - that might even make me blush, if only on the inside.)

But I can be degraded. I’ve been trying to work out how humiliation actually differ even though their fundamental psychology seem almost identical.

Extreme objectification seems degrading. The only act that comes to mind is having my prostate manipulated until I have an orgasmless ejaculation.

Being forced to experience disgust. Being required to eat something disgusting remains the clearest example I can think of. Perhaps having my mouth washed out with soap, not something I’ve ever fantasized about. Obviously my emotional masochism is very much keyed to oral experiences.

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I have learned so very much from some of the most incredible, gifted and honest Dominants; this over 20 yrs now (don’t ask). Some more ‘loving’ and others with a much more self-centered and demanding edge. This comes from them, not me. Humiliation has been presented to me as the act of shaming, demeaning, embarassaing another human being, particularly with an audience. It centers on ‘exposure’ of weakness, whether of character, loss of self-control or physical, but without a lasting effect on the one humiliated. And, although rebuilding will still be necessary, it has a beginning and an end. Degradation is significantly different in that it is a deliberate attack on the person themselves, on their ‘personhood’ and their self-esteem. It is a deliberate, orchestrated attack on their sense of self worth where the results of it are lasting and even cumulative. It is a permanent deepening of their submission that can not be accomplished as effectively in any other manner.

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