Erotic Humiliation

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Reading Midori’s latest book and skimming across a couple of weblogs by submissive guys coalesced in my mind.

I’d never mock anyone for having fantasies that burn past sensible limits. Plenty of my own have been recorded here. Midori’s words on erotic humiliation were a bracing return to cool truth after the weblogs.

I recalled early exchanges with Alexandra about humiliation. How it is one area where you have to be wary of mixing in your regular life with D/s.

There’s a word I’ve imagined being mocked with in my darker dreams. That I’ve evoked the word in an erotic context is something of which I’m almost ashamed. Only to Alexandra have I confessed it. Since it won’t appear here you can just pick a word from your own fantasies of abasement.

It struck me that while I’ve cringed at this word in my imaginary stories in ordinary life it would never wound me. It touches on a part of myself about which I’ve never felt a second’s shame. Really it is a word that I despise others for using. While it might make my flesh creep it doesn’t have the power to attack my ego at a fundamental level.

Humiliation play between two people who know each other well is probably one of the most intimate acts of D/s. Nothing illustrates better the need that a dominant have good psychological intuition.

Ridicule your partner for some trait of which he is really ashamed, some part of behavior that troubles him and you likely go too far. It breaks the wall between theater and daily life. At the least it may shake him out of his submission. At worst damage his self-esteem.

The pain of a misplaced blow with a whip will fade quickly enough. A welt can be soothed and heal. But violating the trust the one submitting must have in the one dominating and the relationship may decompose and die.

Which is why it is best however much you may dream of her being a heartless bitch what you should really want under the demonic exterior is empathy.

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Humiliation has always been a major interest in my Ds, but when I read or encounter humiliation exchanges in the scene it is a humiliation which is not what I look for. A humbled slave is one that kneels in all his knowledge of his training and strngth and bows down to his Mistress. One who puts put his face while kneeling knowing the slaps are coming for looking at a woman in his Mistress presence. One who looks down knowing his failure at being obedient and pleasing to her. Humiliation may only be known by the two of them but is felt strongly. To kneel next to the bathtub rubbing with a sof sponge all her body knowing he will be punished shortly due to his lacks and he humilates himself with his body movement to show his submission while she watches.

I think humility better describes the quality of behavior that you are talking about.

It is a beautiful quality, when achievable, in itself.

I’m very masochistic and the need for pain, including emotional pain is a deep part of my sexuality.

Hi Richard, Excellent post. Please write lots more on this subject. Can you please write the title and full name of the author of the book you cited? Thanks. Beauty

“Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink Educational, Sensual, And Entertaining Essays”

Midori just calls herself Midori.

Erotic Humiliation (Cuckold) and particularly emotional pain is also very much a deep part of my sexuality. I don’t necessarily understand it, but I love it.

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