Hypothetical Profile
» In Search Of
This continues notions about a hypothetical profile or personal ad that may or may not ever be written. That I have no idea whether or not I’ll be in a relationship in this theoretical future clouds thinking about it.
Devastating was hugely helpful in her response to the prior entry:
You probably have a lot of knowledge of what you like, and you might (I’m not sure) have limited patience. I actually doubt your patience is all that limited, but it can be scary being with someone with specific ideas ( i.e., humans).
My patience is indescribable. My relationships have proven that if I care for a person it is almost inexhaustible. Still it is possible to reach the end of it in an instant.
You’re not a happy-go-lucky people person. You might be persnickety in social settings.
But I’m a happy-go-lucky private person. Or can be. Don’t like social settings at all.
Alexandra wrote:
It might be worth mentioning that you are fiercely independent, and yet adaptive.
For someone who evokes my adaptiveness I can be almost anything. The trick is meeting someone who makes me want to adapt.
A secure, sane top can cope with; even relish my independence. Even without kink really sane, secure people are too damned rare. I couldn’t cope with the kind of insecure dominant who needs a doormat anyway.
In an Exchange with Eileen I thought of this phrase:
Self-aware, self-realizing, self-actualizing bottom seeks similar top.
Well, aren’t I just so special!
Sounds too self-serving: who - the self-abasement addicts don’t count - wants to describe themselves otherwise. But it can be softened by stating those qualities as goals. They are anyway.
I’m best at revealing myself through anecdote. And I can always write a couple of bare bone sketches of what excites me.
Should I ever write this profile I guess it should be constructed in the reporter’s top-down style. Also called the inverted pyramid. Try to highlight at the beginning qualities that will entice the reader to continue on.
And create a minisite with whatever seems essential boiled down to a few short pages.
Should I look. Really I can’t until I decide if I’m single again or not. Then I’ll have a context.
It is easy to imagine Bitchy saying something like “just tell people you like to get hit with stuff.”
Comments
See, this is one of those times when the words we use are not the words that people interpret our words as.
Ugh, that was awkward.
I don’t like that being self-centered is automatically equated with being bad by so, so many people. Of course I am self-centered. As far as I (or any of us) can tell, the world expands outward in concentric circles with me in the middle. It’s part of how the senses work. I am maybe not explaining that well. Hmm.
Also, Richard, you are special. I feel this should be obvious.
Posted by: Eileen | September 22, 2007 9:30 PM
:) Ahh, never thought I’d hear journalistic approaches in web usability applied to BDSM personals by anyone else. I do get off on the application of interesting concepts to unexpected areas.
:)
Posted by: maymay | September 23, 2007 3:15 AM
Just say you’re Richard Evans Lee.
And that you like to be hit with stuff.
Oh, and, big bollocks.
There.
Posted by: Bitchy Jones | September 23, 2007 9:16 AM
I like the idea of distilling this blog into a few pithy pages.
From reading this blog I’d say the most important (different) thing about you is that you analyze relationships the way a women would. Speaking as a women, that is a rarity in a man and a good thing. Would a gay man see it that way?
I read some comments about “self awareness.” In your case I see that as being “introspective” and aware of your own short comings. That’s good too.
Lastly you have an intense loyalty to your partner. You said on Fetishlore that you are hard wired for monogamy. I beleive that’s true too and it’s important.
Finally you are not a wanna be or an I-think-I-might. You have much actual BDSM experience.
“Experienced loyal submissive, hardwired for monogamy, introspective and aware of his own short commings seeks dominant for and tender and very connected partnership.”
Finally don’t give up on posting a profile seeking a women. Yes there are bunches of male subs seeking women, but most of them aren’t really looking for a partnership. Most of thier profiles read alike too. So include more of you in your profile and it may catch someone’s attention. Just writing your whole name would make you stand out.
Posted by: Switch (Fetishlore) | September 24, 2007 7:36 PM
When I read of how women are supposed to think about sex and relationships I often think to myself: that is true of me.
Monogamy isn’t something that I would exclude. But I don’t see myself building a relationship on it again without very good reason.
Right now I’m looking for someone to play with as they say. Anything more will be a bonus.
Posted by: Richard | September 24, 2007 9:11 PM